Pettitte breaks silence, apologizes for use of HGH

Published 10:24 pm Monday, February 18, 2008

TAMPA, Fla. — Andy Pettitte described his use of human growth hormone as acts of “stupidity” and “desperation” and repeatedly apologized for them in an hourlong news conference Monday afternoon.

In a five-minute opening statement, Pettitte said: “I want to apologize to the New York Yankees and the Houston Astros organizations, and to their fans, and to all of my teammates, and to all baseball fans, for the embarrassment I have caused them. I also want to tell anyone who is an Andy Pettitte fan I am sorry, especially any kids that might look up to me. … I never want a young person to do what I did.”

Pettitte spoke publicly for the first time since the Mitchell Report, released Dec. 13, alleged that he had used HGH. He subsequently admitted that the allegations were true.

The Yankees granted Pettitte permission to report four days late to spring training, and he moved quickly after landing in Tampa shortly before noon. Pettitte threw a 35-pitch bullpen session at the team’s minor-league complex, then went to Legends Field, where he met with Yankees owner George Steinbrenner and his sons, Hank and Hal, to issue a personal apology for his HGH use.

Pettitte walked into a tent full of reporters just after 3 p.m. He had plenty of support, with general manager Brian Cashman seated to his left, manager Joe Girardi to his right and lawyers Jay Reisinger and Tom Farrell off to one side. Pettitte lit up with a surprised smile when he saw that Derek Jeter, Jorge Posada and Mariano Rivera also were in attendance.

“I think the truth will set you free,” he said, “and I think I’m going to be able to sleep a lot better at night once this all goes by.”

Pettitte said he made errors in judgment by using HGH. He also indicated that he did so out of a mistaken sense that he would let more people down by being on the disabled list than by trying absolutely everything he could to get back on the field.

After the Mitchell Report was released, Pettitte admitted using HGH on two dates in 2002 while injured. He said in a congressional deposition earlier this month that he also used HGH (which he got from his father, Tom) twice in one day in 2004, but did not reveal it previously in an attempt to protect his dad.

After signing a three-year, $31.5 million contract to join the Astros in 2004, Pettitte tore the flexor tendon in his left elbow while checking his swing in his Houston debut. Despite knowing he needed surgery — which he finally had in August after making 15 starts — he decided to use HGH again. “Was it stupid? Yeah,” Pettitte said. “Was I desperate? Yeah, I was probably desperate. Do I wish I never would have done it? Yeah, obviously.”

Among the most difficult parts for Pettitte has been getting caught between two friends, trainer Brian McNamee and Roger Clemens. McNamee said he injected Clemens with steroids and HGH over several years, allegations Clemens has denied. Pettitte testified in his deposition that he remembers Clemens telling him he had used HGH, a conversation Clemens said Pettitte “misremembered.”

“(Clemens) knows that I admired him and continue to admire him. … I love him like a brother,” Pettitte said. “The situation’s a horrible situation. Mac’s an extremely good friend of mine also. In my situation, Mac told the truth about me, so it’s not like I have some vendetta out against Mac.”

He said he hasn’t spoken to Clemens in about a month but hopes to resume their strong relationship.

Pettitte said there won’t be any additional admissions of HGH use. He promised: “There are no other surprises out there. That’s all there is, and anything else that would come up would be definitely false allegations.”

Retirement did cross his mind, though he said it would be “the cowardly way out.”

He said: “I think that at any time, if this organization didn’t want me, that all they had to do was tell me that they didn’t want me, and I would have shut it down. And that would stand right now. … I don’t need the money and I don’t need to go through this.”

But the Yankees want and need him, and he said he wants and needs them. “I’m happy to be back here,” he said, “and again looking forward to giving the Yankees every ounce of energy I have this season.”