If the world was a more magical place, you could send your children off to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to be reared into adulthood without any effort from you. (Wouldn’t that be lovely?) One of the first things that would happen to your kids after they stepped off the Hogwarts Express would be the Sorting Ceremony.
As every Harry Potter fan knows, the Sorting Hat divides students into four houses: Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin. Right now J.K. Rowling’s website “Pottermore” has an online sorting quiz that has inspired Potterheads all over the world. Would-be-Hogwarts-students want to know “What house would I belong to?”
The Sorting Ceremony is a type of Rorschach test. It zeros in on your dominant personality traits and deepest aspirations.
Gryffindor students are brave. Ravenclaw members are wise. Hufflepuffs get along well with others and Slytherins are ambitious.
It’s that last house, Slytherin, that causes Harry all the problems. Lord Voldemort hails from Slytherin, and so do Professor Snape and Draco Malfoy. In addition to their ambition for power, Slytherins are experts at self-preservation. They will cut you down if you cross them.
If you’ve suffered through more parenting classes than you’d care to remember, something in your memory might be pinging right now. Do you remember learning about “reptile-brain” versus “thinking-brain?” When reptile-brain takes over, it’s fight or flight, but thinking-brain uses communication and problem solving skills to work things out.
Cool fact: the symbol of Slytherin House is a snake.
We understand that toddlers are dominated by their reptile-brains. By the time kids hit middle school, society expects their thinking-brains to be in charge. But for some kids, it takes eons for their thinking-brains to mature, and current research from neuroscientists indicates that male brains don’t fully develop until 25.
That makes me wonder, is Slytherlin a stage of life or an actual category for human beings? Ayn Rand, author of “Atlas Shrugged” and mother to the Libertarian party, would probably argue that Slytherin was not only a category, but that Slytherins were her ideal heroes. Slytherins are dedicated to self-preservation and selfish advancement.
I’m a Rowling fan, not a Randian. I think the pursuit of selfishness is immoral. But I see good qualities in Slytherin as well as bad. Slytherins are assertive, goal oriented, dedicated and fighters. They stick with things and that’s how they achieve success.
The more I think about the Sorting Hat, the more I examine my own children’s experiences in public schools. It seems to me that emotionally intelligent Hufflepuff children float through our educational system pleasing teachers and enjoying the rewards of friendly reputations. Gryffindor kids get in trouble for wild antics. Ravenclaw children can become bored and sassy. Slytherins run into problems every time they retaliate.
I wish I had a magic wand and could make every school the perfect fit for every child. But unfortunately, the only supernatural power I possess is getting lost in books.
Jennifer Bardsley lives in Edmonds. Her book “Genesis Girl” comes out Sept. 27. Find her online on Instagram @the_ya_gal, Twitter @jennbardsley
or at teachingmybabytoread.com.
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