7E7 would breathe fresh air into gasping Mariners

To: Seattle Mariners President Howard Lincoln

From: Herald writer Bryan Corliss

Re: My 2009 World Series tickets

Dear Howard,

I believe I have the solution to the two major issues that blocked our beloved Mariners from getting into the playoffs this year.

First: Now that Edgar Martinez seems headed into retirement, sign Rafael Palmeiro as the designated hitter. Nobody hits for power better in Safeco Field than Palmeiro, and if he’s going to bust up the windows in the Hit It Here Cafe, you might as well put him on the payroll. This is the short-term fix.

Second: For the long haul, buy a 7E7 Dreamliner as the new team jet.

No, I’m serious.

Seattle’s first Major League Baseball team, the Pilots, had the right nickname. Given Seattle’s position out here in the far upper left-hand corner of the baseball world, your Mariners spend more time in the air than the Cardinals, Orioles, Blue Jays or just about any other migratory bird.

Flying is as tough on the body as a diving catch on AstroTurf. The big issue is the air inside the cabin. It’s thinner than Jamie Moyer, and drier than a Cactus League infield.

That’s because of design trade-offs, the folks at the Boeing Co. tell me.

The air in passenger cabins is pressurized, but not to the level we’re used to breathing on Royal Brougham Way.

In most planes, the air pressure is roughly equal to 8,000 feet up on Mount Rainer. Boeing says it could increase the pressure, but doing so would mean adding heavy reinforcement so the airplane doesn’t burst like a balloon — and extra weight, as you know, is rarely a good thing if speed’s your game.

The reason the air is dry is simple: condensation. Let too much moisture stay inside an airplane, and it will pool against the aluminum skin, becoming as corrosive as a petulant superstar in big-league locker room.

As a result of these factors, a cross-country trip in a modern airliner is basically like spending the night atop a mountain in the southern Utah desert. You’ll survive, but you’ll definitely feel it in the morning.

The thin air at high altitude also affects physical performance. Boeing spokeswoman Yvonne Leach says studies of high-altitude hikers and climbers show that their performance starts to falter about the time they reach 8,000 feet.

I think we saw that during this season’s second half, Howard. Base-running blunders, an increase in errors, popped-up bunts, called third strikes on grooved fastballs — those are all the kind of brain-dead things you’d expect from a bunch of tired, dehydrated ballplayers.

So how does the 7E7 fit into this picture? The composite fuselage on the new airplane will allow Boeing to increase air pressure and humidity inside the cabin. That will make those two-week road trips to Kansas City, Minneapolis, Philadelphia and New York easier to take.

Boeing also is working on subtle things such as lighting and seat layouts to make long flights more comfortable, Leach said. It doesn’t sound like much, but look at the difference between bright day games at Safeco Field and the dreary old Kingdome.

One thing Boeing is not working on at the moment is a business jet version of the 7E7. Leach says they just haven’t got around to it yet. They’ve got enough to do just to get the first Dreamliner in the air by 2008.

But I have no doubt that if you made that call, Boeing would sell you one. In fact, if you act fast, you might get in as the launch customer and snag enough of a discount to bring the purchase price down below what Rangers owner Tom Hicks spent to lure Alex Rodriguez to Texas.

There is so much potential synergy to this deal. You and Boeing, which already is a corporate sponsor, should be able to work out some kind of cross-marketing. Maybe Shiggy and Kazu could pitch Boeing jets in Japan in the off-season.

Maybe you could help lobby Boeing to base its 7E7 assembly line here in Everett, by offering to help design a retractable roof over the factory.

And just think, with the 7E7’s trans-Pacific range, you could fly your boss, Mr Yamauchi, over to actually watch the team he owns, thus improving communication throughout the organization and allowing us longtime fans a chance to thank him for rescuing us from the Jeff Smulyans of the world.

I see this as a win-win for everyone, and with the 7E7 helping your Mariners achieve more wins-wins, I have no doubt that 2009 will be the year veteran all-stars such as Willie Bloomquist and Rafael Sorriano will lead us to the World Series.

So there’s my solution. I feel it’s the kind of leveraged, value-added deliverable that pushes the envelope until it’s outside the box.

No, no, you don’t have to thank me — just set aside a set of behind-the-dugout seats for each game of that year’s World Series.

Sincerely yours,

Reporter Bryan Corliss: 425-339-3454 or corliss@heraldnet.com.