Michelle Singletary is away. The following is a transcript of a recent online discussion at washingtonpost.com.
Question: What is your view on tithing while saving and reducing debt? Specifically, when the church makes appeals for offerings while you are trying to manage your in-and-out cash flows.
Answer: Many folks will probably be surprised at what I’m about to say. But I’m a Christian, and I believe that I should tithe. It comes first before everything else (well, except Uncle Sam, but I don’t control that).
So the real issue is if you believe in tithing, how do you make everything balance. Well, it’s like anything else – you plan for it. If you rent or own a home, you pay that, right? You have to.
So put tithing in your budget just like everything else. But that means you must do everything in your power to make your money stretch. That might mean cutting expenses. But you can do it without shortchanging God, your landlord or mortgage company or your creditors.
Question: I’ve had limited finances since graduating college, but will soon come into an inheritance that could help me eliminate debt and serve as a down payment for a home.
I have no idea where to go, however, to get the best advice on which debts to pay, which to keep, how much immediate spending money I have, etc. I guess I need a financial adviser. Where can I find one?
Answer: Slow down. Take a breath. So where do you start? Take a money inventory. Be sure you have a good sense of what’s coming in and what’s going out (especially with a big lump sum coming your way).
Next make a list of your debts (credit cards, etc., that should be paid off). When you get that lump sum make sure you first put away enough to cover three to six months of living expenses (that’s your safety net – everyone should try to have it).
Next pay down high-cost debt first (those credit cards) if you can, after putting aside your safety money. If, after all that, there is still a large amount of money left over, I would recommend you seek advice from a financial adviser.
There are fee-only advisers or ones that charge for a plan or don’t charge anything but earn their money through commissions. Check my archives (at www.washingtonpost.com) because I’ve written a lot about how to find a financial planner.
Question: I need your help in getting over my anger. My husband and I have been married a little over a year, and we’re ready to buy our new home. Let’s just say our financial situations were and are very different coming into this marriage.
He has a decent amount in savings, but has a car loan and a student loan. I, on the other hand, have no debt whatsoever, and have more than $100,000 in savings.
When we decided to buy the house, it obviously made more sense for me to contribute more toward the down payment of the house. I have accepted the fact and have instructed myself never to use that as an advantage if/when we fight about money, or anything else.
I know you encourage both partners to pool their money together, and then it’s “our” money. How does one get over that one person contributes more than 80 percent of “our” money?
Answer: By getting over it! Really. You married the guy. You decided to join in union with him. To me, that means everything is on the table and does become “ours.” It has to. So if you truly believe this, don’t be angry. I was in a similar situation. I came into a big pot of money because I took a buyout from a previous job. My husband and I used that money to buy our house. And you know what? Not once – ever – did I resent the fact that it was “my” money (100 percent even) that put us into our house. I really do think many couples in our society have marriage and money all wrong. We go into marriage almost like we are roommates and need to evenly divide all the bills lest someone is shortchanged. Married life is never equal.
Get your house. Enjoy it and be blessed if you found a good man who wants to share a life with you. Stop focusing on how much money you brought into the relationship. Just remember your vows – you are one and your finances should be too.
Washington Post Writers Group
Talk to us
> Give us your news tips.
> Send us a letter to the editor.
> More Herald contact information.
