Whether you’re looking for your first real job or counting the days until retirement, it makes good business sense to be aware of your actions with co-workers, says Vivian Scott, author of “Conflict Resolution at Work for Dummies.” Here are some fairly common ways people cause problems at work that they later come to regret.
Starting every sentence with “Listen, You Idiot…” Never filtering anything you say can feel good in the moment, but only to you. Instead of being tagged as the office bully, adopt an attitude that any kind of personal bashing has no place in a successful business. What goes around comes around, so think before you speak.
Working on the premise that only your ideas count. Even employees beneath you in the org chart have the wherewithal to come up with a great solutions, so be open to a variety of ideas from a variety of sources.
Pitting people against each other. Sparring works well for boxers, but throwing unsuspecting co-workers into the ring doesn’t toughen them up; it just makes them angry when they figure out that you’re the one orchestrating the tension between them. Build a new definition of success that includes others.
Believing that mystery is a good thing. Using wimpy language like “when you get to it,” giving hazy instructions or making someone else break bad news to the team creates problems. Use clear, concise language and give people the opportunity to know what the actual issues are. It’s much easier to come to resolution on real issues than it is to play 20 questions or resolve the wrong problems.
Never admitting you’ve done anything wrong. Hiding or ignoring the fact that you’ve mishandled a situation or slinking around as a means to garner sympathy for poor outcomes takes a lot more energy than it does to own up to an error and repair it. Present your mistakes learning experiences and others will be more apt to help you.
If you find that these insights are coming a little too late, keep in mind that the easiest way to deflate anger with a co-worker is to listen to his perspective, come clean about your participation in the conflict and work together to figure out how to avoid similar situations in the future.
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