From tea parties to dumpsters, 2020 has redefined suburban living. (Jennifer Bardsley)

From tea parties to dumpsters, 2020 has redefined suburban living. (Jennifer Bardsley)

2020 may be a dumpster fire, but it made her appreciate dumpsters

This mom sticks to her chore chart, but it’s not enough — not when the house is lived in, with a capital L.

In the old days, my writing group met in my house once a week while my kids were at school. I stacked thick slices of homemade bread, smoked salmon and cheese on a platter, spread cookies upon the tea tray and brewed big pots of coffee. It was the perfect excuse to use my grandmother’s china.

These days, I meet with my writing friends at a safe distance in the parking lot of an empty grocery store. We wear masks and exchange pages as quickly as possible. It feels vaguely like a drug deal, only no money or pharmaceuticals change hands. “Hey Jenny, do you have some words for me?” my friend asks.

In the old days, my husband left for work early in the morning, and didn’t come home until late at night. On an average week, we would spend 10% of our time together, not counting sleeping. Date nights were infrequent, and an occasion to wear high heels.

These days, I see my husband 99% of the time. Or actually, I don’t see him, but know that he’s upstairs at his desk, logged into conference calls that begin early in the morning and last until late at night. He cooks me breakfast; I make him lunch and dinner. We run into each other in the hallway wearing ratty atheleisure wear. “Thanks for buying graham crackers,” he tells me.

In the old days, I had a system that kept our home — and lives — running like clockwork. Mondays I changed sheets and watered houseplants. Tuesdays were for cleaning bathrooms, Wednesdays I vacuumed, Thursdays I deep-cleaned the kitchen and Fridays I caught up on laundry. For an older house with second-hand furniture, it always looked decent.

These days, my system fails me. I stick to my chore chart but it’s not enough, not when the house is lived in, with a capital L. Virtual school, baking projects, craft disasters, unread magazines, a mini trampoline in the living room — messes commandeer every room. We goof and bring out the yard waste instead of the recycling bins one week, and the un-recycled refuse builds up fast. “Mom, can I use this pile of newspaper to make paper mache?” my daughter asks.

In the old days, planning the holidays with extended family members required diplomatic skills on par with Henry Kissinger. Taking a turn at hosting meant a month-long schedule of deep cleaning, yard work and decorating. The ironing board would make a rare appearance in order to ensure tablecloths were pressed to perfection.

These days, holidays mean road trips to ding-dong ditch family and friends. My son and I drive to my sister’s apartment to deliver three loaves of bread he baked. We leave them on her porch and race away. Then, because we’re desperate, I unload our extra recycling into her apartment complex’s dumpsters, right next to the “Dumpers Will Be Prosecuted,” sign.

If anyone recognized me in saggy sweatpants, chucking flattened graham cracker boxes and old manuscripts into a recycling bin that didn’t belong to me, I’d be humiliated. But this is 2020. I’m just another desperate housewife wearing a mask.

Jennifer Bardsley publishes books under her own name and the pseudonym Louise Cypress. Find her online on Instagram @jenniferbardsleyauthor, on Twitter @jennbardsley or on Facebook as Jennifer Bardsley Author. Email her at teachingmybabytoread@gmail.com.

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Life

Snohomish County Dahlia Society members Doug Symonds and Alysia Obina on Monday, March 3, 2025 in Lake Stevens, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
How to grow for show: 10 tips for prize-winning dahlias

Snohomish County Dahlia Society members share how they tend to their gardens for the best blooms.

What’s Up columnist Andrea Brown with a selection of black and white glossy promotional photos on Wednesday, June 18, 2025 in Everett, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Free celeb photos! Dig into The Herald’s Hollywood time capsule

John Wayne, Travolta, Golden Girls and hundreds more B&W glossies are up for grabs at August pop-up.

The 2025 Audi A3 premium compact sedan (Provided by Audi).
2025 Audi A3 upgradesdesign and performance

The premium compact sedan looks sportier, acts that way, too.

Edmonds announces summer concert lineup

The Edmonds Arts Commission is hosting 20 shows from July 8 to Aug. 24, featuring a range of music styles from across the Puget Sound region.

Big Bend Photo Provided By Ford Media
2025 Ford Bronco Sport Big Bend Increases Off-Road Capability

Mountain Loop Highway Was No Match For Bronco

Cascadia College Earth and Environmental Sciences Professor Midori Sakura looks in the surrounding trees for wildlife at the North Creek Wetlands on Wednesday, June 4, 2025 in Bothell, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Cascadia College ecology students teach about the importance of wetlands

To wrap up the term, students took family and friends on a guided tour of the North Creek wetlands.

Mustang Convertible Photo Provided By Ford Media Center
Ford’s 2024 Ford Mustang Convertible Revives The Past

Iconic Sports Car Re-Introduced To Wow Masses

Kim Crane talks about a handful of origami items on display inside her showroom on Monday, Feb. 17, 2025, in Snohomish, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Crease is the word: Origami fans flock to online paper store

Kim’s Crane in Snohomish has been supplying paper crafters with paper, books and kits since 1995.

The 2025 Nissan Murano midsize SUV has two rows of seats and a five-passenger capacity. (Photo provided by Nissan)
2025 Nissan Murano is a whole new machine

A total redesign introduces the fourth generation of this elegant midsize SUV.

A woman flips through a book at the Good Cheer Thrift Store in Langley. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Pop some tags at Good Cheer Thrift Store in Langley

$20 buys an outfit, a unicycle — or a little Macklemore magic. Sales support the food bank.

The Mukilteo Boulevard Homer on Monday, May 12, 2025 in Everett, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
‘Homer Hedge’: A Simpsons meme takes root in Everett — D’oh!

Homer has been lurking in the bushes on West Mukilteo Boulevard since 2023. Stop by for a selfie.

Two visitors comb the beach at Kayak Point Regional County Park on Friday, June 14, 2024, in Tulalip, Washington. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
Nate Nehring and WSU Beach Watchers to host beach cleanup at Kayak Point

Children and families are especially encouraged to attend the event at Kayak Point Regional County Park.

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.