Recently, I watched an interesting television series on HBO, “The Time Traveler’s Wife.” It’s a remake of a movie from 2009. I’ve always been intrigued by the idea of time travel. Wouldn’t it be fascinating to find ourselves in the past, seeing how people really lived? The “Outlander” novels by Diana Gabaldon catapult Claire, a 20th-century nurse, back 200 years, where she’s confronted by a different culture in a completely different time. Gabaldon’s nine books are immensely popular. I’ve read all of them.
This new series poses an interesting twist to time travel. Henry, our time traveler, is transported to different times in his own life. The 38-year-old Henry lands in the apartment of his 28-year-old self. He knows what will transpire for his younger self — he can’t change anything (an important element in all time travel stories), but he can talk to his younger self. He has no control of where or when he will arrive in the past.
His 28-year-old self is selfish, self-absorbed and immature. His older self has grown up over the coming decade. The older Henry is harsh with his younger self.
When I look back, I would love to share what I’ve learned over the years to my younger self. Think of all the suffering I would avoid! In my early 30s, I was so anxious, self-conscious about my parenting, stubborn and lacking humility. I would tell my younger self to relax — trust yourself, learn from your experience, listen more, speak less and be more open to other’s ideas. I would tell myself to be less future-oriented and be more in the here-and-now.
Alas, we haven’t invented a time machine — yet. But there is a way of tracking one’s growth and development over the years.
One interesting way of reflecting on one’s daily life is to record one’s experiences and reflections in a daily journal. Writing your reflections on each day creates a record of your thoughts and feelings. It takes some discipline to be consistent, but it’s a valuable way of forging perspective on each day.
Indeed, some research studies have suggested that journaling alone can improve one’s mental health.
It’s a helpful way of venting your feelings, without burdening your friends and family. The very act of recording your thoughts, feelings and concerns can help you have more objectivity about your life. When you look back at your journal entries, over time, you can see how you’ve developed and changed, and see what has stayed the same. It’s a form of time travel.
If you were able to talk to your younger self, what would you say? What advice would you give yourself? How have you changed over the years? What has stayed the same?
I read my journal of 10 years ago and I was surprised to see that I’m still working on many of the same issues. But I also saw that I’ve made progress. Many of my personal goals are still the same — to be kind, loving and compassionate. To cultivate joy, to be more present to my loved ones, and to nurture inner peace and tranquility. When I read my journal entries from a decade ago, I realized that my goals have always been to be a better husband, a better friend, a better father, a better human being. I know I still have room for much improvement.
Paul Schoenfeld is a clinical psychologist at The Everett Clinic. His Family Talk blog can be found at www. everettclinic.com/ healthwellness-library.html.
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