It is tempting to romanticize the way animals parent their children and then to assume people have much to learn from them.
It turns out that animals are all over the place in their parenting, says Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson in his book “The Evolution of Fatherhood,” and, he writes, just how they parent isn’t necessarily obvious.
For example, Masson says, bull elephants are apparently selected by female elephants for their ability to mate. However, even female elephants have few natural predators because of their size and strength and male elephants are not necessary for protection.
So because of that and periodic aggressive outbursts, the males are kicked out of the family group pretty quickly after the baby elephants are born.
Mothers, aunts and older children raise baby elephants in sibling-cousin groups. The adults in those nurturing, protective herds stay close to and often touch the youngsters, making it a pretty good place for an elephant to grow up.
Bull elephants, on the other hand, are destined to spend much of their adult life roaming alone, occasionally in the company of another bull. They begin living out that destiny as teenagers when they get increasingly aggressive and are forced from the group.
In another example, human beings are more like wolves in their parenting practices than they are like chimpanzees – even though humans and chimps are genetically more alike. Humans and wolves are similar in other social ways too.
That is probably why humans have domesticated many dogs but have not domesticated apes, Masson speculates. The dog is genetically a wolf, but, “with the exception of the cat, no other animal has chosen to live with us on intimate terms.
From an unlimited array of fatherhood styles among animals, Masson finds some examples that help inform us on the choices humans can make. He raises a target question that can be asked about all human and animal behaviors
Specifically, how much of parenting is learned and how much is instinctual? For one thing, human and animal offspring are born ready to love the first adult they spend time with. It is called bonding in humans and imprinting in animals.
Masson argues: “Fathers who want close relations with their children later in life should learn the lesson imparted here: The first years count perhaps beyond their chronological importance.” This lesson informs fathers to be available to their babies at the earliest possible ages.
Other examples are closer to the crosshairs created by comparing instinctual patterns and learned behaviors. Mother rats raised in isolation will still build nests instinctively: “A spider spins a web, a beaver constructs a dam, the honeybee sculpts a honeycomb.”
But, there is more to many behaviors than instincts. An isolated bird will sing. However, “when young … birds are raised without being allowed to hear the song of an adult male, they do not develop the full adult song.”
To sing full adults songs as grown-ups, baby birds must hear the full adult male song and then store that learning until later, when they can use and need it.
This is even stronger and truer for humans, Masson argues. To fully express themselves later as adults, children need to hear the songs of adults and then to store that experience until they need it and can use it.
The poetic influence on children of being in the presence of adults’ singing has lifelong power. It is true for all adults and especially critical with adult males because children are less likely to be around their fathers than their mothers.
And the power is present for boys and girls. Everyone knows it is important for boys to hear the voices of their fathers and other competent men.
But imagine the impact on girls who, while they are growing up, don’t hear the music of competent and caring fathers.
Perhaps, as grown-ups they can’t hear the singing of competent adult males.
Bill France, a father of three, is a child advocate in the criminal justice system and has worked as director of clinical programs at Luther Child Center in Everett. You can send e-mail to bill@billfrance.com.
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