If we accept the idea that some things play better on the page than they do on the movie screen, it helps explain why the big werewolf vs. vampire battles in the “Twilight” pictures have always had the faint air of absurdity about them.
In other words, I might buy these fang-to-fang fights in Stephenie Meyer’s books. But actually seeing the big computer-generated wolves go at the golden-eyed vampires is something that never fails to trigger the giggle reflex.
This is one of my problems with the “Twilight” movie series, which notches its fourth installment with “The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn-Part 1.” And if previous episodes were occasionally kooky, this one really goes full-bore crazy.
The delayed nuptials of Forks regular gal Bella (Kristen Stewart) and her vampire beau Edward (Robert Pattinson) are finally brought off in “Breaking Dawn,” in a sequence that plays like an over-the-top valentine to fans who have waited patiently for this moment.
The wedding kiss should be a gift to those fans, although the uninitiated will probably find it an endurance test.
Then the trembling couple is whisked away to a Brazilian island, where they can consummate their heretofore abstinent passion. And Edward will turn Bella into a vampire, too.
A few twists await, as well as some rather graphic body horror. The busy special effects department has deployed its tools into making Kristen Stewart look emaciated and alarmingly skeletal, which is a more disturbing sight than the various man-to-dog transformations.
The hiring of director Bill Condon (“Gods and Monsters”) gives the saga an actual sense of moviemaking skill, although Condon hasn’t solved the problem of how the jokey humor is supposed to blend with the doom-laden material surrounding the undead.
At first this chapter is like a movie from the 1950s: it’s all about sex, without quite daring to use the word. Then Condon shifts the tone from breathy teen soap opera to ominous horror melodrama, which is something of an upgrade for the series.
And the rivalry between Edward and wolf-boy Jacob (Taylor Lautner) acquires a believable level of mutual respect and dislike in this one, especially when Bella needs both of them during a rather grueling and graphic sequence.
This is Part One of Meyer’s final chapter, so things will be dragged out until next summer’s finale. Faithful readers will turn that into a smash hit, too, even though at this point it’s becoming clear how flat-out weird Meyer’s overall conception has been for this saga. I have this feeling that 10 years from now everybody’s going to look back at the “Twilight” phenomenon and feel embarrassed about loving it, the way you might feel embarrassed about your old Flock of Seagulls albums. It’s the loopiest blockbuster going.
“The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn-Part 1” (2 stars)
We’re almost at the close of Stephenie Meyer’s vampire epic, with regular gal Kristen Stewart finally marrying vampire Robert Pattinson, as wolf-boy suitor Taylor Lautner gnashes his teeth. New director Bill Condon adds some actual horror edge to the proceedings, but overall the movie is so thoroughly weird it will only work for diehard fans.
Rating: PG-13, for violence, subject matter
Showing: Alderwood Mall, Cinebarre, Everett Stadium, Galaxy Monroe, Marysville, Stanwood, Meridian, Metro, Thornton Place, Woodinville, Cascade Mall, Oak Harbor.
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