Column on video games touches off fierce discussion

As a parent or other adult who takes care of children, you already know it is not always easy to get acquainted with the peer groups your children and teenagers hang with. Further, if your youngsters are video game players and you aren’t, some of their peer groups are largely invisible to you.

Three weeks ago, I wrote a column warning parents about the ultra-violence in some video games.

The Herald posted the column on HeraldNet, and the Internet spread it to it to the worldwide community of gamers. Within a few hours, video game fans, builders and players from all over the world had written to me. Many found the column through a link installed by their favorite gaming Web sights.

I received more comments than when I have written about the place in children’s lives of parents, family life, religion, politics, economics, work schedules, school strikes, disabilities, legislation, abuse and neglect, domestic violence, the media or sex.

Many of those who wrote thought I was saying that violent video games created convicted serial killer Gary Ridgway. They did not.

Many who wrote believed I meant that violent video games will turn every gamer into a serial killer. That won’t happen.

But, the ultra-violent video games I saw look much like Ridgway’s description of his 48 murders. Just as in Ridgway’s confession, some games allude to having sex with prostitutes, and then humiliate, beat and brutally murder them.

The games act the way Ridgway described his thinking about prostitutes: "Nobody will miss them." Both completely ignore that victims are humans with loved ones who grieve for the rest of their lives.

Both the games and Ridgway act as if these victims live simply for the perpetrator’s entertainment. The two things look very much alike.

At the end of his letter to me, one young man, Peter, asked me what my main opinion was about this video game violence. I answered that one of my opinions is that violence begets violence — not in every individual by any means — but by creating an atmosphere that tolerates violence and in which some people are more likely to be violent.

From these writers, I have learned a number of things that you may also want to know. Arguably, the four most obvious lessons are these:

?Some who play video games belong to a committed, peer group of gamers. Some writers defended video game playing without any qualifications. Most, though, wanted to talk about games and game playing in more depth.

The ultra-violence I described in video games is fairly new. I think it must be growing and spreading. Most of the gamers who wrote to me dated the beginning to some time in the 1990s. Some avid gamers said they hadn’t yet seen the type of violence I described — cutting off heads, urinating in people’s mouths, kicking dead bodies.

??Almost universally, these gamers believe children need their parents to monitor their video game playing and many other parts of their lives. That is doubly true for children with emotional or mental disabilities.

Video games are powerful teaching tools. It is not always obvious from watching the games what you will learn from playing them. Gamers say they learn eye-to-hand coordination, quicker thinking and social skills from the games themselves or from playing the games with other people.

I will discuss the gamers’ thoughts on violence levels, parental controls and on teaching power in other columns. First, though, the most important issue is the peer group.

This peer group is not limited or defined by age, geography, mobility, money, education, appearance, gender, sexual preference, neighborhood, race, nationality, age, career or intelligence.

I have a hunch it is not limited even by legal status. Some said they are lawyers, and I suspect some gamers wrote from inside some kind of jail.

There is something unusually democratic about membership in this peer group. Like the peer groups Patricia Hersch writes about in "A Tribe Apart: A Journey Into the Heart of American Adolescence," members are drawn together by their strong interests, even devotions.

Many express an almost blind loyalty to their own video game playing, to the game industry and to each other. They defend their loyalties, and they react strongly to criticism from someone they feel is an outsider.

A third of the writers were simply vitriolic — caustic, bitter, vulgar and attacking, but without saying anything substantive. They are poised to defend their love of violent video games, but they didn’t provide much information.

I found, though, that most gamers are fun to talk with. One of them who obviously knew how the peer group works joked, "I’d hate to be getting your e-mail right now." Another, also amused, wrote, "Haven’t you learned? It is completely pointless to attack the gaming industry."

Peter, the young man who asked me my opinion about violent video games, answered my e-mail almost immediately. "Thank you for your quick and thoughtful reply," he said. "Your further explanation helps my understanding regarding your side of the issue. There is a community post regarding your piece online, and if you don’t mind I would like to forward your reply to it."

And of course I don’t mind. I am thrilled, just as I have been with chances to talk to my children’s peer groups. I encourage all other parents and adults to do the same.

Bill France, a father of three, is a child advocate in the criminal justice system and has worked as director of clinical programs at Luther Child Center in Everett. He is on the Snohomish County Child Death Review Committee, and the Advisory Board for the Tulalip Children’s Advocacy Center, beda?chehl. Beda?chehl is a Tulalip word that roughly translates to "our children, past, present and future." You can send e-mail to bsjf@gte.net.