Device-dependent kids can be difficult

  • By John Rosemond Tribune News Service
  • Sunday, February 14, 2016 9:14pm
  • Life

A 4-year-old boy informed his preschool teacher — a friend of mine — that he’d broken his iPad.

“Oh!” my friend said. “What a shame. Did you drop it?”

“No,” the boy said, very matter-of-factly. “I got mad that my mom wanted me to share it with my sister, so I slammed it on the table and it broke.”

His next sentence: “Now we have two of them so I don’t have to share.”

When the teacher conveyed this to me (as an example of the devolution of parenting since she began teaching), the first thing that came to mind was a gift I received in the mid-1980s from a complete stranger. I had written a column in which I speculated that video games were addictive and shortened a child’s attention span. A few weeks later, UPS delivered a state-of-the-art Nintendo accompanied by a lengthy letter from the president of Nintendo Corporation. It took him nine pages to tell me that I was dead wrong, that video games stimulated all manner of intellectual and social skills. They are, he said, a veritable fount of marvelous benefit.

Thirty years later, reputable studies have found that video games are addictive, shorten attention span, and are associated with depressed school performance. In addition, a significant number of parents have told me stories about video-obsessed kids who are moody, explosive, withdrawn, and suffer sleep difficulties. Research done by respected people such as psychologist Jane Healy (“Your Child’s Growing Mind,” “Endangered Minds,” and “Failure to Connect”) finds that electronic, screen-based devices actually interfere with normal brain development.

But to many parents the facts don’t seem to matter. What matters is that their kids do not feel different — that they have what their friends have. I am reminded of a mother who asked me what I thought about giving iPads and the like to toddlers. I told her, in a nutshell, what the research has discovered. She then said, “Oh, but my daughter (then 2 years old) likes hers so much! I just can’t see taking it away from her.”

A year later, the child demands constant attention. She cannot be left with a babysitter, so her parents take her everywhere they go and take turns entertaining her. She is, their friends agree, becoming more of a “handful” with every passing day.

Electronic devices do not help young children learn to entertain themselves. A child who is self-entertaining is being independent. He’s learning how to solve real-world problems. Developmental psychologist Burton White claimed that the ability to play independently and creatively on a regular basis for more than an hour at a time without requesting adult attention was the best marker of developmental health in a 3-year-old.

Electronic devices of the sort in question induce dependency. And as is the case with the above little girl, when the electronics-dependent child doesn’t have access to electronics, she will transfer her inability to entertain herself to the most available adults. They, in turn, are likely to describe her as “difficult and demanding.”

These games do children no favors. That, I’m convinced, is unarguable. Also unarguable, however, is that children like them.

The question, then, becomes: So what?

Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Life

The back patio area and deck on Oct. 23, 2025 in Mukilteo, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
$6 million buys ‘Wow’ and a gleaming glass mansion in Mukilteo

Or for $650,000, score a 1960s tri-level home on Easy Street in Everett. Dishwasher included.

Connie Lodge
Warren G, right, will join Too Short, Xzibit and Yung Joc on Saturday at Angel of the Winds Arena in Everett.
Warren G, Forest Songs, #IMOMSOHARD and more

Music, arts and more coming to Snohomish County

Typically served over rice, gumbo is made with chicken, sausage and the Creole “holy trinity” of onions, bell peppers and celery. (Gretchen McKay/Pittsburgh Post-Gazette/TNS)
Easy, roux-less gumbo features Creole spices, chicken and sausage

Many family dinners are planned ahead of time after pulling a delicious-sounding… Continue reading

Join Snohomish PUD in preparing for storm season

October is here and the weather has already displayed its ability to… Continue reading

Silas Machin, 13, uses a hand saw to make a space for a fret to be placed during class on Oct. 7, 2025 in Lake Stevens, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Kids at play: Lake Stevens middle-schoolers craft electric guitars

Since 2012 students in Alex Moll’s afterschool club have built 100s of custom and classic guitars.

Absolute Zero Earthstar Bromeliad was discovered in a crypt! Its foliage is black with ghostly white striping with sharp edges – be careful! (Provided photo)
The Halloweeniest plants around

This magical month of October is coming to a close, accompanied everywhere… Continue reading

The 2025 Volkswagen ID. Buzz in two-tone Energetic Orange and Candy White paint.
2025 Volkswagen ID. Buzz is an irresistible throwback

The new Microbus maintains charm while piling on modern technology and special features.

These crispy, cheesy chorizo and potato tacos are baked in the oven to achieve an extra crunch. (Post-Gazette)
Crispy oven chorizo and potato tacos are social media darlings

I’m not alone when I say I could eat tacos every day… Continue reading

Marysville Pilchuck High School mural artists Monie Ordonia, left, and Doug Salinas, right, in front of their mural on the high school campus on Oct. 14, 2025 in Marysville, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Tulalip artists unveil mural at Marysville Pilchuck High School

Monie Ordonia hopes her depictions of Mount Pilchuck and Pilchuck Julia bring blessings and community.

Grandpa Buzz smiles while he crosses the street and greets people along the way as he walks to Cascade View Elementary on Sept. 30, 2025 in Snohomish, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
‘Everybody wants a Grandpa Buzz’

Buzz Upton, 88, drives 40 minutes from Stanwood to spread joy and walk kids to school in Snohomish.

Escalade IQ photo provided by Cadillac Newsroom USA
2026 Cadillac Escalade IQ Premium Sport

Unsurpassed Luxury All-Electric Full-Sized SUV

Snohomish Conservation District will host the eighth annual Orca Recovery Day

Help out planting native species in Ovenell Park in Stanwood on Saturday.

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.