You know what I’ve always wanted to take on my backpacking treks? Haggis. Now, thankfully, I can finally make that a reality. Thank you, Mountain House.
And, while I’m at it, I can enjoy some backcountry scuba diving. Because that really works up an appetite.
While I’m out, I’ll keep an eye out for the elusive Longmire Lichen Faerie, which is nearly exclusively found in Mount Rainier National Park. If I’m really lucky, I’ll see Sasquatch, because according to the U.S. Forest Service Mythical Wildlife Division, the species is very real.
And, of course, I’ll want to do this all while wearing my new performance lederhosen. (I think they’re marketed for men, but who cares? I’ll pair it with my new dog-hair base layer.)
At the end of a perfect day, I’ll celebrate with Coors new energy beer. And it won’t even matter if I spill it. Those lederhosen repel like nothing else.
And on my next trip, I’m totally going to the Red Planet. Thanks to Mountaineers Books, I now know about 100 classic hikes on Mars.
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