Question: Your college sophomore shows no signs of a career track. How can you help her choose a path?
Answer: Before you don the career counselor hat, make sure you’re not misreading a larger message from your child, says child psychologist Jennifer Powell-Lunder, co-author of “Teenage as a Second Language.” Like maybe she’s afraid to tell you what she wants to do.
“Sometimes parents can’t even admit that they’re doing this, but they can be putting pressure on their child to move into a certain field or claim a certain identity,” Powell-Lunder says. “Especially if they come from a long line of doctors or lawyers or there’s always been talk in the family about what your child would become.
“It could be that your child is afraid to admit to you, or maybe even herself, that she’s not really excited by the idea of becoming what you always assumed she would.”
A conversation directly addressing these expectations may set her free to finally think clearly about what she truly wants to pursue.
If, however, a child is truly directionless, you’re wise to help steer him or her in the direction of current interests.
“Use the resources at school: academic counselors, career counselors,” Powell-Lunder suggests. “And look at the clubs she’s interested in. Encourage her to get involved in on-campus activities and volunteer work. … Just try all kinds of new things.”
In her case, Powell-Lunder entered college intending to pursue fashion. But after volunteering for the school’s Big Brothers Big Sisters program, she became interested in working with children and eventually decided to pursue psychology.
“There’s so much opportunity on campus,” she says. “Your approach needs to be, ‘The world is a big, exciting, open place,’ rather than demanding, ‘You better go find something to pursue because you’re running out of time.’ Approach it as an exciting time to try something new.”
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