The long, slower days of summer will soon be ending as the school year approaches. Those warmer days lazily spent by the water or in the mountains will quicken as September comes into focus. The new school year is upon us.
By now, I hear children complain about the boredom of unstructured summer days. I can feel a slow but steady build-up of energy and excitement as youngsters turn their attention toward the start of school — just a few weeks away.
My 6-year-old granddaughter is very worried about first grade, “What if I don’t like my teacher? What if I forget what I learned in kindergarten? What if I don’t know any of the kids in my class?” She’s a bit of a worrier, but most kids have some anxiety mixed with excitement about the start of school.
Older kids may worry that the next school year will be harder and more demanding than last year (yup, it is). They worry that they might not measure up. Middle schoolers and high schoolers worry about their friendship circles. Will they feel disconnected from their old school friends — many of whom they didn’t see during the summer? Will they make new friends? There’s a lot to be concerned about.
Preparing children for school starts early. Back-to-school shopping sales are in high gear. The new backpacks, cool sneakers and the latest styles for teens are flying off store shelves.
Typically, children don’t verbalize their fears. More often, they’re expressed by troublesome behavior. Bedtimes and mealtimes become a battle. “Clothing wars” start up after a long summer vacation. Teenagers become more defiant and moodier. Tears flow easily and seemingly for no reason.
Transitions are difficult for kids. Children live forever in the present. The days before school starts signals an uncertain future which makes kids anxious.
Here are some ways to help youngsters calm those jitters:
Emphasize the positive. “Kids like to look forward to things they like,” says Diane Ray, a child clinical psychologist. “Know what makes your child feel good about school and talk about those activities.”
Acknowledge their concerns. When children do mention fears about school, reassuring them isn’t helpful. It’s like a friend telling you not to worry. Instead, allow them to give voice to their concerns. Ask them to make a list of their fears, concerns and hopes. Share your own back-to-school experiences with them.
Start preparing early. Everyone gets a little rusty over the summer. Have children start reading before school. Encourage them to write about their vacation. These activities prime the pump for activities that will take place in September. Elementary school teachers recommend that parents establish a family reading time where everyone reads together and then discusses their books with each other.
Have youngsters start waking up earlier. This is an effective way to avoid the shock of early school starts. This is especially helpful for older children who have been going to bed late and sleeping late.
Establish reasonable expectations for the new school year. The start of a new school year is a great opportunity to help children develop good study habits. Help them get off to a successful start by establishing clear rules and structures. Now is the time to start limiting television-watching, Xbox and computer games.
Remember, don’t push children to perform. School already has its own share of pressures. The best recipe for success is to provide children with love, support, and encouragement.
Paul Schoenfeld is a clinical psychologist at The Everett Clinic. His Family Talk blog can be found at www. everettclinic.com/ healthwellness-library.html.
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