I stopped eating packaged food … and never felt better

  • By Tim Herrera The Washington Post
  • Monday, November 10, 2014 6:46pm
  • Life

I have, on more than one occasion, eaten an entire pizza by myself. Like, recently. These moments are not my proudest, but here we are.

Between May and August this year, I ordered pizza delivery for dinner an average of seven times per month. I ordered Italian an average of three times monthly, and healthy (?) helpings of noodles another three.

Lunch burritos were a ritual. My fridge was packed with flavored yogurt, beer, greasy leftovers and half-empty bottles of ranch dressing and Frank’s RedHot. My afternoon snack was a handful of fun-size candy on sale (using the honor system) at my office; breakfast, if I ate it, was usually a bowl of yogurt laced with honey.

So I was more than interested when a co-worker told me she was about to go on Whole30, a 30-day “food cleanse” in which you eat nothing but unprocessed, unrefined, sugar-free food, while also cutting out entire food groups such as dairy and grains (and booze).

My relationship with food has never been what one would call healthy, so a chance to hit the reset button? I’m listening.

The point of Whole30, which was founded by Melissa Hartwig in 2009, is to “end unhealthy cravings and habits, restore a healthy metabolism, heal your digestive tract, and balance your immune system,” its promotional materials say. Whether that’s what actually happens physiologically, who knows. Everyone’s selling something.

But after completing a 30-day run — without cheating, for the record — I can say it’s a life-changing, body-changing wonder of experimental trendy dieting. (With maybe a dash of Placebo effect thrown in there.)

Emotional eaters (like me) use food to augment an emotional state. Bad day? Get a calzone and a Kit Kat. Feeling great? Get a calzone and a Kit Kat. This was both my comfort system and my reward system growing up, and it continued into adulthood.

So the immediate result of removing all pleasure foods from my diet after a lifetime of eating mostly pleasure foods is that, surprise, I thought a lot about pleasure foods.

Two days into my Whole30, which I began in mid-September with a co-worker and my girlfriend, the sight of a Snickers made me desperate for it. The cravings got worse before they got better, and after about two weeks I was actually dreaming about eating donuts and candy.

This seems to be a common side effect; Whole30’s Web site even says it may happen.

But about a week in, things started happening to my body that hadn’t happened in years. I woke up easier and felt less groggy in the morning. My afternoon fade at the office began disappearing. Coffee became less of a necessity, and I didn’t collapse from exhaustion the moment I got home.

As the weeks went on, I started to look a little slimmer in the mirror. “You look so skinny now!” my girlfriend would say. In the month and a half since I started, I’ve lost 15 pounds, and two full inches off my waist.

My best friend became zoodles — a wonderful foodstuff that is simply zucchinis in the shape of noodles made with a spiralizer — and, making my mother particularly happy, I finally learned to cook and made almost every one of my meals.

I just felt … good. And not … bad. Which was different and wonderful.

By week three, I was cruising, sugar cravings gone and cooking game sharp. I could whip up a Whole30-friendly chicken pad thai for four in 35 minutes flat while driving you nuts with a speech about how fantastic I felt. I darted around my office with boundless energy that last from morning to night.

Then week four came. The end was in sight, but a new dread was appearing: How does one go back to normal eating after this? That idea gave me more anxiety than anything leading up to embarking on this. Am I betraying my body by going back to a normal diet? Have I earned the right to eat pizza again after a cleanse? Am I going to completely miss pumpkin beer season?

I never settled on an easy answer, and still haven’t. I’m in limbo; if you offered me a piece of candy corn, I’d probably say no, but if it’s the weekend (say, one in which a yearly costume-themed holiday falls), all bets are off. Where I’ll eventually land, who knows.

I should probably figure that out. Maybe over a slice of pizza.

Maybe over eight slices of pizza.

For any adventurous eaters (or nutritional change-seekers) interested in taking on this challenge, however, it’s not all sprightly mornings and fresh veggies for lunch. If you absolutely hate cooking, move along. If post-work happy hour or drinks on the weekend are mandatory, skip.

You will be grumpy four days in and probably have a nonstop headache for days. And if you can’t handle your friends rolling their eyes at you any time you shoot down their restaurant suggestion because “it’s too hard for me to eat there right now,” don’t even bother. (Sorry, guys.)

But if you’ve ever taken a realistic look at your diet and thought, “Wow, I’ve been been treating my stomach like a garbage compactor,” maybe it’s time to his that reset button.

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Life

Brandon Hailey of Cytrus, center, plays the saxophone during a headlining show at Madam Lou’s on Friday, Dec. 29, 2023 in Seattle, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Lynnwood-based funk octet Cytrus has the juice

Resilience and brotherhood take center stage with ‘friends-first’ band.

FILE - In this April 11, 2014 file photo, Neko Case performs at the Coachella Music and Arts Festival in Indio, Calif. Fire investigators are looking for the cause of a fire on Monday, Sept. 18, 2017, that heavily damaged Case’s 225-year-old Vermont home. There were no injuries, though a barn was destroyed. It took firefighters two hours to extinguish the blaze. (Photo by Scott Roth/Invision/AP, File)
Music, theater and more: What’s happening in Snohomish County

Singer-songwriter Neko Case, an indie music icon from Tacoma, performs Sunday in Edmonds.

The Moonlight Swing Orchestra will play classic sounds of the Big Band Era on April 21 in Everett. (submitted photo)
Music, theater and more: What’s happening in Snohomish County

Relive the Big Band Era at the Port Gardner Music Society’s final concert of the season in Everett.

2024 Honda Ridgeline TrailSport AWD (Honda)
2024 Honda Ridgeline TrailSport AWD

Honda cedes big boy pickup trucks to the likes of Ford, Dodge… Continue reading

Would you want to give something as elaborate as this a name as mundane as “bread box”? A French Provincial piece practically demands the French name panetiere.
A panetiere isn’t your modern bread box. It’s a treasure of French culture

This elaborately carved French antique may be old, but it’s still capable of keeping its leavened contents perfectly fresh.

(Judy Newton / Great Plant Picks)
Great Plant Pick: Mouse plant

What: Arisarum proboscideum, also known as mouse plant, is an herbaceous woodland… Continue reading

Bright green Japanese maple leaves are illuminated by spring sunlight. (Getty Images)
Confessions of a ‘plantophile’: I’m a bit of a junky for Japanese maples

In fact, my addiction to these glorious, all-season specimens seems to be contagious. Fortunately, there’s no known cure.

2024 Hyundai IONIQ 6 Limited (Hyundai)
2024 Hyundai IONIQ 6 Limited

The 2024 Hyundai IONIQ 6 Limited is a sporty, all-electric, all-wheel drive sedan that will quickly win your heart.

The 2024 Dodge Hornet R/T hybrid’s face has the twin red lines signifying the brand’s focus on performance. (Dodge)
2024 Hornet R/T is first electrified performance vehicle from Dodge

The all-new compact SUV travels 32 miles on pure electric power, and up to 360 miles in hybrid mode.

chris elliott.
Vrbo promised to cover her rental bill in Hawaii, so why won’t it?

When Cheryl Mander’s Vrbo rental in Hawaii is uninhabitable, the rental platform agrees to cover her new accommodations. But then it backs out. What happened?

Dominic Arizona Bonuccelli
Tangier’s market boasts piles of fruits, veggies, and olives, countless varieties of bread, and nonperishables, like clothing and electronics.
Rick Steves on the cultural kaleidoscope of Tangier in Morocco

Walking through the city, I think to myself, “How could anyone be in southern Spain — so close — and not hop over to experience this wonderland?”

Don’t blow a bundle on glass supposedly made by the Henry William Stiegel

Why? Faked signatures, reused molds and imitated styles can make it unclear who actually made any given piece of glass.

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.