We all have a threshhold, a personal limit where we can become full. There is such a thing as the last straw, and then suddenly we are too full and can bear the weight no longer.
Sometimes it takes the last straw for us to set a boundary. It is possible that when Don Imus made his racist and sexist remarks about the Rutgers women’s basketball team, it was the last straw. When the last straw lands in the culture basket, it creates a movement, a big wave of reaction in people that can cause a tipping point. Tipping points can be inspiring.
I hope what I’m watching continues to be inspiring. People are not focusing on Don Imus the way they focused on Mel Gibson and his anti-Semitic remarks. Unfortunately, it became all about Mel Gibson and the meaning of his apology. Finally the dialogue is expanding. This is not about one person, Don Imus. Don Imus just represents so much of what is intolerable on our airwaves. This is about stopping the abuse of our tolerance.
A tipping point can also be terribly disappointing.
Whatever it was that gave permission to use airwaves on the radio and television to promote violence and vulgarity was also a tipping point.
At some point, in some way, we have allowed it to happen. I look at things being done on our airwaves within easy reach of our children and I am appalled, like most of you. I don’t believe the majority of us think we are protecting the idea of free speech. We are poisoning our own well. We are poisoning our community, our culture and our children. Though many of us may have succeeded at keeping the violence and vulgarity out of our homes, I can tell you it is not 100 percent. The radio dial slips ever so easily onto a station that is playing offensive lyrics.
I have walked into a room more than once and watched my kids quickly flip the station. I know what they are watching. Kids find this stuff fascinating to watch. It is designed to lure them in.
When the kids were young, I had to give the lecture. No parent gets off with just the birds and the bees anymore. I have to counter what is happening on the airwaves and explain that sex is not supposed to be a violation of you, humiliation is not love and healthy relationships do not look like those people on the Maury Povich show,
I am saddened to see that the Playboy television show about Hugh Hefner and his three live-in girlmates, is successfully marketing Playboy bunny gear to girls age 11 to 13. I had a 12-year-old sit across from me and explain that her goal is to grow up and live with Hugh Hefner.
It’s time for us to stop putting up with things. It’s time to act and come out swinging. Write letters to companies that endorse the things that violate your ethics.
The firing of Don Imus proves that we don’t have to sit back and accept things we find offensive. We pay a big price for all the junk on the airwaves. Let this be the last straw. It’s time to figure out exactly which businesses are culpable and boycott products. It’s time to make our voices loud and clear. No, I will not have it my house; I also will not pay for you to pollute my community on the airwaves.
Sarri Gilman is a freelance writer living on Whidbey Island. Her column on living with meaning and purpose runs every other Tuesday in The Herald. She is a therapist, a wife and a mother, and has founded two nonprofit organizations to serve homeless children. You can e-mail her at features@ heraldnet.com.
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