I needed to replace a couple of my pots and pans. Specifically, the small ones that my daughters have completely scorched. Since becoming vegetarians, both my daughters have renounced my cooking, and nothing, I mean absolutely nothing, I cook is acceptable.
Do I whimper and plead and try to accommodate? No, I say, go ahead and cook for yourselves.
The only problem with the cook-for-yourself attitude is that they actually do, and they have ruined every pan they use.
These are young adults who grew up with microwaves and high speed Internet. Waiting for something, anything at all is completely outside their understanding. If they cook, they expect the oven and stove to respond instantly.
Everything they cook is cooked on high, extremely high for as long as the food can tolerate the heat until the food begins to crisp. Then the black, crisp food is eaten with a fork right out of the pan.
No amount of parenting, coaching, teaching or yelling has gotten through to them to stop cooking food on high and destroying the pots and pans. There is no appreciation of how long I saved to purchase those well-made pots and pans. There is no recognition of the fancy chef name engraved on the handle.
I keep threatening to buy new pots and pans that they may not use, and they will be relegated to using the old ones. They look at me like puppies who don’t understand why they can’t chew slippers. I can’t even explain the threat about new pots and pans. It actually doesn’t make sense to me either, but I have run out of ideas.
I was doing my routine household shopping, and I found pots and pans at a great price at Marshalls. I resisted the temptation to buy two full sets and label them “mine” and “yours.” I purchased only two pans. They were $9.99 each.
I am running one of my famous family tests to test the pans.
One pan promises to be nonstick, nonscratch and, more importantly, “corrosion high resistance” and “metal tools safe.”
Is this really possible? Has someone invented a pan that my two daughters can’t ruin?
The second pan was also $9.99 and while it is not promising to have any special talent, I am simply experimenting with it and saying to my girls, “Don’t use this one, it is far too expensive, and it is only for me.”
My second experiment is to see if my daughters are capable of listening to anything I say at all.
Believe me, I put more thought into this whole pan issue than I want to admit. It made me realize that for $9.99 I have very high expectations that the product I purchased will be able to do what it promises.
It’s part of the new economy. Let’s just call it our new reality. Part of surviving in the new economy and new reality is that I expect more from the things I purchase. Suddenly, every dollar I spend really counts. I thought I was a careful consumer before, but I find that I am much more awake and there is lots of room for improving.
I know my daughters have a long way to go to respect the tools of the kitchen, and in many ways I think it’s a poetic truth for us all.
We have a long way to go to treat our money better. In some ways, we burn it all up faster then necessary.
Sarri Gilman is a freelance writer living on Whidbey Island and director of Leadership Snohomish County. Her column on living with meaning and purpose runs every other Tuesday in The Herald. She is a therapist, a wife and a mother, and has founded two nonprofit organizations to serve homeless children. You can e-mail her at features@heraldnet.com.
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