It’s reality TV at its best: Covering it from my couch

Tell me if this has happened to you:

You were home from work one day. Maybe you weren’t feeling well. Maybe that’s just what you told your boss.

You took your place on the couch, flipped on the cheerful Matt and Katie on “The Today Show.” You switched over to Regis and Kelly (or Kathie Lee, depending on how long ago this particular occurrence happened to you), and there you stayed until late in the afternoon.

Now and then you’d think, “Those other suckers are stuck at work today.”

Then the ultimate thought struck you: Wouldn’t it be awesome if I just got paid to sit here and watch TV?

Well, I’m not trying to brag, but I’m livin’ the dream.

A few weeks ago, the wise editors of The Herald decided that I should fill the position of TV columnist, among other duties. After about five years covering local government and education, I was happy to trade my city council and school board agendas for a TV Guide and a remote control.

Each Thursday, we’ll be using this space to cover what’s going on in television. Week to week, we’ll review new shows, talk about some of our long-running favorites and point out specials to watch out for.

If we’re lucky, Rush Limbaugh will make another run at football analysis to give us some good fodder for a couple of weeks.

My use of the word “we” is no accident. What’s going to make this column work best is feedback – an exchange of ideas between you the reader, and me. After all, this service is being provided to you for a reason.

Livin’ the dream of covering TV comes with a serious and not always pleasant side. I’m here to save you time. Sure, it sounds great that I get to watch all the new shows, usually before you see them at home. But that comes with a price.

For every “Seinfeld,” there are 20 or 50 versions of “Coupling.”

For every amazing season there was of “ER,” there’s an announcement that they’re stretching it for another year – you don’t have to keep watching it, but I might.

And for every “Apprentice,” there’s a “Swan” – and one was far too many.

I get paid to watch the bad shows so you don’t have to.

So, where do I get off telling you what’s good or bad on TV? Other than “Schoolhouse Rock” and Mr. Kotter’s classroom, there’s no formal education for this sort of thing. You just go by feel.

I grew up watching TV. Once homework was done, it was open season on the remote. My parents kept me up on the 1980s hits that are now classics: “The Cosby Show,” “Cheers,” Family Ties.” Bedtime was 10 p.m., so it wasn’t unusual to fall asleep with the theme songs from “St. Elsewhere,” “Hill Street Blues” and “LA Law” playing in the background.

Let me give you an idea of where I’m coming from these days. I’m sad that the sitcom is dying. I think the investigative and courtroom drama trend, while mostly being done well, is getting a little tired. And I believe reality shows – oh, those reality shows – can be fun when they serve some purpose.

Legitimate talent searches with a real reward like “American Idol,” “The Apprentice” or “America’s Next Top Model” are engaging. Shows like “Trading Spaces” and “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” offer tips on how to improve your life. Even “Survivor” and “Big Brother” are harmless game shows that offer a little more excitement than waiting to see whether Bob from Walla Walla is going to ask Pat Sajak to buy a vowel or use his free spin instead.

Watching people eat bugs might fulfill some curiosity for a few minutes, but it ultimately doesn’t do anything for me. And I think that a pair of strangers getting married on TV for a million dollars is a far greater danger to society than two men or two women doing it out of love.

So, that’s me. Drop me a line and we’ll start livin’ this dream together next Thursday.

Columnist Victor Balta: 425-339-3455 or vbalta@heraldnet.com.