‘Joan & Melissa’ version of reality returns tonight

  • By Frazier Moore Associated Press
  • Thursday, March 27, 2014 8:27pm
  • LifeGo-See-Do

NEW YORK — Joan Rivers, who for more than a half-century has turned her life inside out for comedy, is starting her fourth season doing just that for the reality show she shares with her daughter, Melissa.

“Joan &Melissa: Joan Knows Best?” (10 p.m. today on WEtv, 502 on Comcast digital) finds Joan making a sex tape. Attending a lacrosse game where Melissa picks a fight with her teenage son’s coach. Consoling Melissa after her boyfriend is caught in a compromising position.

She also mourns the death of her beloved dog, Max, then stages a splendiferous funeral that includes a chorus, an avant-garde poet and a male ballerina in a tutu.

“The vet said Max could have been anywhere from 11 to 14 years old,” says Joan solemnly, then eases into a wisecrack: “You can usually check a dog’s teeth, but Max lived for a while in California, so they were capped.”

She and Melissa have invited a reporter to hear about their show’s new season, which tracks this mother-daughter duo in their professional pursuits (including production of their weekly E! series, “Fashion Police,” and her online talk show, “In Bed With Joan”) as well as shining a glaring light into their personal lives.

“It’s no-holds-barred,” says Joan proudly.

Item: On one episode, Rivers, at 80 years old, goes to heroic lengths to undo her history as a fashionista and a frequent flier to her plastic surgeon’s office. She wants to look more age-appropriate to land an acting role as a senior on a proposed TV drama series, and prepares herself, stripped of any vanity, with what she calls — no, not a makeover — but instead “a make-UNDER.”

For this interview, though, she is every bit the Joan the world knows and loves: nipped, tucked and coiffed to a T. You ask who is she wearing? A shocking pink Armani jacket, Chanel slacks, Manolas, a necklace from her own Joan Rivers collection “and a Hermes knockoff that I got in China. Come as close as you want, mister,” she boasts as she holds up the baby-soft handbag, “you’re not gonna tell the difference!”

“Joan &Melissa” came about when Joan, who lives on the Upper East Side, began routinely crashing with her daughter, an Angeleno, to tape the L.A.-based “Fashion Police.”

“She’d be in my house two or three days a week,” Melissa recalls. “Then, during one of our many moments of chaos, someone said, ‘This is truly like a reality show.’ And the next thing you know, it’s an ACTUAL reality show.”

Melissa, clad hopefully spring-ish on this frigid day in a turtleneck and brightly patterned Alexander McQueen skirt, first partnered on-air with Joan 20 years ago to cover red carpet awards events for E!

Live fashion coverage was new to TV, and mother and daughter were slammed for indulging in such shallowness.

Joan shrugs. “What are the stars wearing? Are they drunk, are they high? And do they look like they’re still happy together? That’s what your friends are talking about! Luckily, we were both very shallow, so that’s what we talked about, too. And still do, as reflected in both ‘Joan &Melissa’ and ‘Fashion Police.”’

“We promote shallowness across all platforms,” says Melissa with a laugh.

But living life, however shallow, on a reality show can get deeply complicated for those it exposes.

“You come down in the morning and bump into crew members on the stairs,” Joan says.

“They come into my room while I’m asleep to pre-light,” says Melissa. “I pull the covers over my head.”

“It’s going to be easier next year,” Joan predicts. “We’re gonna use drones.”

This year, there was one development the probing cameras didn’t catch: Joan got a tattoo.

A couple of seasons ago, viewers saw her visit a tattoo parlor with a chum, then, in her words, “chicken out” before her chosen bumblebee design found its way to her derriere.

Three weeks ago, with her same friend in tow, she got inked.

“Margie and I walk into this Village tattoo parlor, two old blond Jewish women,” she laughs as she slides up her left sleeve. In simple characters each barely a half-inch tall, “6M” is tattooed on the inside of her arm.

“It stands for the 6 million Jews that were killed in Auschwitz,” she says. “I didn’t put this in the show, because it’s a serious thing. I didn’t tell anybody until it was over: ‘Guess what I did this afternoon?”’

Since the subject has been raised, Melissa now has an announcement: She’s considering a tattoo on her wrist. Joan isn’t pleased: It might be too big and too visible.

“You’ll be terribly sorry,” she warns.

“I already have TWO!”

“Yeah, but they’re hidden. I’m just pleading with you,” she persists. “You may, in five years, not want something there. And apparently it’s agony to get it off.”

“Mom! I’ve had two.”

“They’re hidden.”

“One’s on my ankle.”

“But we don’t look at your ankles,” Joan says. “And you can always cover them.”

Yes, this makes a pretty great reality show.

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Life

Photo courtesy of Graphite Arts Center
Amelia DiGiano’s photography is part of the “Seeing Our Planet” exhibit, which opens Friday and runs through Aug. 9 at the Graphite Arts Center in Edmonds.
A&E Calendar for July 10

Send calendar submissions for print and online to features@heraldnet.com. To ensure your… Continue reading

Snohomish County Dahlia Society members Doug Symonds and Alysia Obina on Monday, March 3, 2025 in Lake Stevens, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
How to grow for show: 10 tips for prize-winning dahlias

Snohomish County Dahlia Society members share how they tend to their gardens for the best blooms.

What’s Up columnist Andrea Brown with a selection of black and white glossy promotional photos on Wednesday, June 18, 2025 in Everett, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Free celeb photos! Dig into The Herald’s Hollywood time capsule

John Wayne, Travolta, Golden Girls and hundreds more B&W glossies are up for grabs at August pop-up.

The 2025 Audi A3 premium compact sedan (Provided by Audi).
2025 Audi A3 upgradesdesign and performance

The premium compact sedan looks sportier, acts that way, too.

Edmonds announces summer concert lineup

The Edmonds Arts Commission is hosting 20 shows from July 8 to Aug. 24, featuring a range of music styles from across the Puget Sound region.

Big Bend Photo Provided By Ford Media
2025 Ford Bronco Sport Big Bend Increases Off-Road Capability

Mountain Loop Highway Was No Match For Bronco

Cascadia College Earth and Environmental Sciences Professor Midori Sakura looks in the surrounding trees for wildlife at the North Creek Wetlands on Wednesday, June 4, 2025 in Bothell, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Cascadia College ecology students teach about the importance of wetlands

To wrap up the term, students took family and friends on a guided tour of the North Creek wetlands.

Mustang Convertible Photo Provided By Ford Media Center
Ford’s 2024 Ford Mustang Convertible Revives The Past

Iconic Sports Car Re-Introduced To Wow Masses

Kim Crane talks about a handful of origami items on display inside her showroom on Monday, Feb. 17, 2025, in Snohomish, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Crease is the word: Origami fans flock to online paper store

Kim’s Crane in Snohomish has been supplying paper crafters with paper, books and kits since 1995.

The 2025 Nissan Murano midsize SUV has two rows of seats and a five-passenger capacity. (Photo provided by Nissan)
2025 Nissan Murano is a whole new machine

A total redesign introduces the fourth generation of this elegant midsize SUV.

A woman flips through a book at the Good Cheer Thrift Store in Langley. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Pop some tags at Good Cheer Thrift Store in Langley

$20 buys an outfit, a unicycle — or a little Macklemore magic. Sales support the food bank.

The 2025 Volkswagen Golf GTI sport compact hatchback (Provided by Volkswagen).
2025 Volkswagen Golf GTI is a hot-hatch heartthrob

The manual gearbox is gone, but this sport compact’s spirit is alive and thriving.

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.