Kids can be brave eaters, not just picky ones

  • By Anne Brockhoff McClatchy Newspapers
  • Sunday, March 14, 2010 11:36pm
  • Life

Young children are notoriously finicky. Broccoli, salmon, beets — name a healthy food, and there’s a preschooler who won’t eat it. But many just as quickly rule out carrots, pot roast or scrambled eggs, or anything that’s not white or smothered in ketchup.

“Picky, picky, picky,” many a parent, myself included, has muttered over the antics of a recalcitrant pint-sized diner.

Parental concern has reached a fever pitch in this age of hyper-parenting, rising rates of childhood obesity and a tide of “kid-friendly” food products.

“The trend in recent years is that almost everybody has become more anxious about it,” said Ellyn Satter, a registered dietitian and family therapist and author of “Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family.”

With my first child, I thought I had it all figured out. She was a happy eater, devouring almost everything I cooked. Now 6, she’s still up for at least one bite of anything.

Not so with Daughter No. 2, who lived on bread, fruit and milk for an entire year. A third child has now joined us at the table. He has eaten everything from peas to pineapple and lasagna to lamb, but will his enthusiasm persist? What can I do if it doesn’t?

The uncomfortable answer: Nothing.

Parents can cajole, demand and camouflage, but it’s hard to make a child eat something he doesn’t want to.

Forcing the issue merely turns the dinner table into a battlefield. That’s not me talking. I’m broadly summarizing Satter’s approach to feeding children, something she calls the division of responsibility.

“The parent controls the what, when and where of feeding,” Satter says. “The child is responsible for how much and whether to eat.”

Her advice sounds simple, yet it’s hard to follow. Nothing is as disheartening as seeing tiny lips clamp shut against a lovingly prepared meal.

It’s easy to give in and race back to the kitchen in search of something — anything — your child will eat. Or to buy packaged toddler or kiddie foods with his favorite character on the box. Or stick to the universal children’s menu of burgers, grilled cheese and pizza.

These tactics achieve the ultimate goal: a full tummy. But none teaches your child about enjoying a variety of foods, said Nancy Tringali Piho, author of “My Two-Year-Old Eats Octopus.”

“You want to expose kids to a lot of foods, a lot of flavors and a lot of textures early on as their tastes are beginning to develop,” Piho says.

The best way to do that, she says, is to serve children the same meal you make for yourself.

They don’t need separate “kid-friendly” foods or snacks. Parents are often surprised by the spices, cuisines or dishes their kids take to.

Here’s what else I’ve learned:

Remember the when and where: Food is a big part of a small child’s day, Satter reminds us. She recommends offering three meals and two snacks about the same time each day, preferably while seated, so kids can focus on their food and learn a few manners. Satter’s approach is detailed on her Web site, www.ellynsatter.com.

Skip the kiddie foods: Children’s food products often rely on sweeteners, salt and fat for much of their appeal, making it hard for kids to develop a taste for anything else, Piho says.

Don’t label: Calling a child picky gives her license to refuse food and discourages parents from trying new things. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy that can also damage a child’s self-esteem, Satter says.

Don’t give up: Toddlers especially are wary of new foods and might need to see, smell and touch a food many, many times before agreeing to taste — much less eat — it.

Develop a repertoire of standards, but keep presenting a variety of things. Your child might not eat broccoli today, or tomorrow, or even next year. But if you don’t offer it, he never will.

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Life

Everett P. Fog, 15, in front of an Everett mural along Colby Avenue on Wednesday, Jan. 22, 2025 in Everett, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Hello, Everett! No escape when your name is same as the town

Everett P. Fog, 15, sees and hears his first name wherever he goes. His middle name is also epic.

2025 Nissan Rogue Rock Creek edition (Provided by Nissan).
2025 Nissan Rogue has new Rock Creek edition

Enhanced outdoor capability is a boon for the more adventurous.

Futuristic Kona Limited Photo Provided By Hyundai Newsroom.
2025 Hyundai Kona Limited SUV Gets Roomier

All-Wheel Drive Option Add To All Trims

Children play and look up at a large whale figure hanging from the ceiling at the Imagine Children’s Museum (Olivia Vanni / The herald)
Fun for all ages: The best places for family adventures

From thrilling activities to relaxing outings, here’s where to make unforgettable family memories!

Jared Meads takes a breath after dunking in an ice bath in his back yard while his son Fallen, 5, reads off the water temperature on Tuesday, Oct. 15, 2024 in Everett, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Chill out: Dive into the cold plunge craze

Plungers say they get mental clarity and relief for ails in icy water in tubs, troughs and clubs.

Schack exhibit to highlight Camano Island watercolorists

“Four Decades of Friendship: John Ebner & John Ringen” will be on display Jan. 16 through Feb. 9.

XRT Trim Adds Rugged Features Designed For Light Off-Roading
Hyundai Introduces Smarter, More Capable Tucson Compact SUV For 2025

Innovative New Convenience And Safety Features Add Value

Sequoia photo provided by Toyota USA Newsroom
If Big Is Better, 2024 Toyota Sequoia Is Best

4WD Pro Hybrid With 3-Rows Elevates Full-Size

2025 Toyota Land Cruiser (Provided by Toyota).
2025 Toyota Land Cruiser revives its roots

After a 3-year hiatus, the go-anywhere SUV returns with a more adventurous vibe.

Enjoy the wilderness in the CX-50. Photo provided by Mazda USA Newsroom
2025 Mazda CX-50 Adds Hybrid Capability to Turbo Options

Line-Up Receives More Robust List Of Standard Equipment

Practical And Functional bZ4X basks in sunshine. Photo provided by Toyota Newsroom.
2024 bZ4X Puts Toyota Twist On All-Electric SUV’s

Modern Styling, Tech & All-Wheel Drive Highlight

Photo provided by Mazda USA Newsroom
2025 Mazda3 Turbo Premium Plus Hatch Delivers Value

Plus Functionality of AWD And G-Vectoring

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.