Mom worries whether girl’s ready for school

  • By Angie Wagner For The Associated Press
  • Monday, July 28, 2008 5:33pm
  • Life

LAS VEGAS — My daughter will turn 5 years old two days before the new school year starts.

I didn’t think about this much when she entered her first year of preschool, but now as she is about to start kindergarten I suddenly started questioning whether she is truly ready.

It all started when I was chatting with some of the other preschool moms one day. We were comparing our children’s letter writing.

I was pretty surprised to see that many kids in my daughter’s class had much better handwriting and easily kept those letters between the lines.

Geez. Addie doesn’t really enjoy writing her “sight” words over and over. And I don’t really enjoy trying to get her to do it. I want her to have a love of learning and be excited about it, not moan over writing sight words.

After that day, the stage was set for my next worry project. (My husband thinks I purposely think of things to worry about and move from one worry to another.)

I remember getting all those birthday invitations last year for kids who were turning 5 in October and November. Addie had just turned 4. That’s a big gap, and at this age I think it makes a big difference.

I am not worried about my daughter socially. Verbally, her vocabulary rivals mine. She uses words like “unfortunate” and “afforded” in the right context.

But she doesn’t always count to 20 perfectly. And counting beyond that is kind of a mess. Other kids in her class are counting to 100.

Her letters need some work, but I think she’s doing well.

I worry that if I make the wrong decision, Addie will struggle in school.

The Internet is full of articles about kindergarten readiness and forums where parents support both sides of “redshirting.”

My aunt held my cousin back and she ended up being the valedictorian of her high school class. Impressive, but would she have had that title if she started on time?

All this worrying hasn’t really gotten me anywhere, so I turned to the U.S. Department of Education’s Web site.

In a survey, public school teachers ranked physical well being, social development and curiosity as more important for kindergarten readiness than knowledge of skills.

Of the almost 1,500 teachers surveyed, more than half said it is not very important to know the alphabet or count to be ready for kindergarten.

Sounds good, but learning all seems to be moved up now. Many children learn to read in kindergarten, not first grade like I did. I notice one boy in my daughter’s class is doing math that seems to be on at least a first grade level.

So what’s a parent to do? Are there any long-term effects of starting my early-birthday kid in kindergarten on time? Is it better to be the oldest or the youngest in a grade?

Deborah Stipek, dean at the Stanford School of Education, said I might be putting a little too much thought into this decision.

“It probably matters much less than parents believe,” she said. “Most of the research suggests that any differences in achievement associated with age that are seen in the early grades disappear within a few years.

“Unless your child is very immature or is developing language unusually slowly or something like that, there is probably no harm in sending her on.”

OK. That makes me feel better.

Stipek said that what happens to children depends a lot of how good their teachers are at providing differentiated instruction that is appropriate for all of their students, regardless of skill levels and learning styles.

For now I’m putting my worries aside, and next month, ready or not, it’s kindergarten here we come.

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