Bad remakes of good movies are hardly new, but the past decade has brought us far too many, with junk like “The Haunting” and “Planet of the Apes” cluttering screens.
On Friday, we got another.
“The Day the Earth Stood Still” rebooted the 1951 classic. The new version tossed in a bunch of glossy special effects and updated the plot, as an alien told humankind it was headed for disaster because of environmental collapse, not nuclear war.
The movie got us thinking green — not about green-collar jobs, but green-lighting movies.
Why do executives remake great movies, instead of correcting past mistakes? Why not try to improve on a misfire, instead of sinking a classic? With that in mind, we pulled together some pitches.
Add a comment to this story at www.heraldnet.com to let us know which movies you think deserve a remake.
THE MOVIE: “Night Shift,” 1982, directed by Ron Howard, starring Michael Keaton and Henry Winkler
THE PROBLEM: The story, about two workers who turn a city morgue into a brothel, is creepy. Howard treats the dark subject too lightly. We say, embrace the weirdness — corpses, prostitutes, city bureaucracy — and turn it into a pitch-black comedy.
OUR PITCH: Re-team the guys who made “Fight Club” and “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.” Cast Brad Pitt as the charismatic crazy man (Keaton’s role), and have Edward Norton play the reserved ex-stock broker (Winkler). With David Fincher directing, it can’t be worse than the original.
THE MOVIE: “Fantastic Four,” 2005, directed by Tim Story, starring Jessica Alba and Michael Chiklis
THE PROBLEM: Coasting by on the comic book’s fame, the movie made $154 million, according to Box Office Mojo, and inspired a sequel, despite disappointing almost everyone.
OUR PITCH: Stay with us now. “Spider-Man 2” is among the best superhero movies ever made. Michael Chabon, the Pulitzer Prize winning author, co-wrote its story. Chabon also pitched a script for “Fantastic Four” in 1995 — and was rejected. Call Chabon up. Let him take another pass.
THE MOVIE: “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” 1992, directed by Fran Rubel Kuzui, starring Kristy Swanson and Donald Sutherland
THE PROBLEM: The movie made the idea of a Valley Girl slaying vampires seem absurd, before the TV show staked its claim on pop culture.
OUR PITCH: This is an easy one. Let Joss Whedon, the man behind the TV show (and the movie’s screenplay), direct a new version, with Sarah Michelle Gellar reprising her star-making role.
Andy Rathbun
arathbun@heraldnet.com
425-339-3455
Remakes that work
Not all remakes are bad. Here are a few worth catching.
“Invasion of the Body Snatchers” (1978)
“Heaven Can Wait” (1978)
“The Fly” (1986)
“Ocean’s Eleven” (2001)
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