Nice reality TV offers a respite from our dog-eat-dog world

Nice reality TV offers a respite from our dog-eat-dog world

Instead of assaulting us with conflict, shows like “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo” let us self-soothe.

  • By Margaret Wappler The Washington Post
  • Sunday, February 17, 2019 1:30am
  • Life

Ever since “The Real World” debuted on MTV in 1992, reality TV has given us so much anger: Accusations. Betrayals. Brawls. Plenty of chardonnay in the face.

By 2006, when “The Real Housewives” reared its triple-processed blond head, the Mean Reality TV genre had clawed its French Tips into America’s brain. Pumpkin spitting on New York. Stassi smacking Kristen. Jeff outing Zeke. Aviva throwing her prosthetic leg at Heather. Trump firing Omarosa. From the White House.

In the past few years, though, there’s been a collective softening on reality TV. After years of witnessing beautiful people shred their dignity to find a spouse or get off an island, we’ve rediscovered the comforts of regular folk whipping up custards and crafts and getting tough on that messy garage. Nice Reality TV, let’s call it, has become a respite from all the real-life madness we can’t control — the Twitter mobs, the 1 percent gobbling up all the wealth, the breaking news and fake news, all abuzz on our phones.

There’s a reason each episode of “Making It,” the NBC competitive crafts show hosted by Amy Poehler and Nick Offerman that aired its first season last summer, kicks off with Poehler announcing: “Life is stressful enough. Let’s make a show that makes you feel good!” In our politically contemptuous, personally overwhelmed and financially disempowered lives, escape can come in the form of a perfectly organized sock drawer, a flawless opera cake and the wonders of beard oil.

The Nice Reality TV formula is one that HGTV, the fourth most-watched cable channel in 2018, has been building since “House Hunters” hatched atop the real estate bubble two decades ago. Whereas Mean Reality TV feeds on scandal, Nice Reality keeps it behind the scenes, if it must exist at all. Shows such as the squeaky-clean “Fixer Upper,” a ratings magnet that wrapped up last year after five seasons, and “Property Brothers,” an HGTV cornerstone since it debuted in 2011, keep the drills whirring inside the home — ignoring the clamor of harsh reality outside of it.

Today’s wave of Nice Reality TV takes HGTV’s aversion to conflict, and overwhelming whiteness (recently lampooned by “South Park” in a bit called “White People Renovating Houses”) and diversifies it: We’ve been introduced to avid British bakers, a non-English-speaking organization expert and a rebooted “Queer Eye” Fab Five.

It’s hard to imagine this moment in a pre-digital streaming era. Reality TV, circa mid-aughts, had to lust — for beauty, money or infamy — to keep its dominance over scripted TV. Back then, the musty cop and doctor shows couldn’t compete with the primal wish fulfillment of winning a million dollars or marrying a Harvard real estate prince who looks like a personal trainer. And prestige TV, such as “The Sopranos,” was available only to HBO’s elite subscribers. Digital streaming platforms, such as HBO Now, Netflix and Hulu, not only spread prestige to the masses, but also helped kindness find its widest audience.

Now we can self-soothe whenever we need it. After a bad day. After the kids go to bed. Or even after an election gone sideways, as Hillary Clinton did with HGTV, as she wrote in her 2017 memoir, “What Happened.”

The latest entry in the growing pantheon of Nice is “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo,” the Netflix show from Japan’s decluttering expert, which released eight episodes at the start of this year. Where “Hoarders” used horror-movie music to show the stuff Americans can’t get rid of, Kondo instead comes in, freshly dressed in her trademark white, and greets the messy home as if it’s a Shinto shrine and not a hovel for Nutcracker dolls. She smiles at the junk drawers, coos at out-of-control closets and gushes, in one insta-meme, “I love mess!”

Twitter tried to make her controversial — protect your books from this walking Fahrenheit 451, everyone! — but it didn’t stick because, well, she doesn’t hate books; she’s a best-selling author. The truth is, even if her cleanup strategies are just common sense masquerading as the latest in the #blessed witchcrafts, Kondo’s positivity toward the slovenly home is a much-needed relief, especially for women who disproportionately clean the home more than men. Kondo, who minored in women’s studies in college, vicariously delivers permission (“It’s OK if your house falls into disorder”) and optimism (“It’s never too late to whip it back into shape”), as well as an unflagging belief in the organizational power of little boxes.

Some of Nice Reality TV’s best examples are imports such as “Tidying Up,” because maybe we’re all tired of the American penchant for bluntness. When tension happens on “The Great British Baking Show,” which has been running in Britain since 2010 and in the United States since 2014, it typically gets resolved with sportsmanship and manners. No one gets dragged or doxed or promises to start therapy, not even when Diana supposedly wrecked Iain’s baked Alaska. There’s a great weight lifted knowing that the worst crisis we’ll suffer is some ice cream gone soupy.

See also: “Terrace House,” an exceedingly polite “Real World”-like franchise brought to Netflix in the United States from Japan.

“The Great British Baking Show” also shows a multicultural modern vision: people of all races, religions and backgrounds, struggling to conquer dampfnudel or some other sweet obscurity. Watching a group of strangers bond, no matter their prior affiliations or competitive rank, counters all the ways in which we’re pushed to tribally insulate and view anyone different with suspicion.

Nice Reality TV also offers us a marker of how far we’ve come. The rebooted “Queer Eye” has crossed even more into tear-jerker territory than the first generation. The world is less hostile to five gay strangers than it used to be. In the series premiere, Tom, a 57-year-old Georgia Dad who drinks “redneck margaritas” in his stained recliner, is given the tools to woo a special lady friend into his life. Tom sobs when he says goodbye to the Fab Five and tells his lady friend that he’s never “hung out with gay guys before, and they were great. They were so open with me, and I was open with them.”

His new worldview is the sweet promise of Nice Reality TV: Transformation doesn’t always have to be stormy and upsetting. Sometimes, it can just be plain nice.

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Life

Schack exhibit to highlight Camano Island watercolorists

“Four Decades of Friendship: John Ebner & John Ringen” will be on display Jan. 16 through Feb. 9.

XRT Trim Adds Rugged Features Designed For Light Off-Roading
Hyundai Introduces Smarter, More Capable Tucson Compact SUV For 2025

Innovative New Convenience And Safety Features Add Value

Sequoia photo provided by Toyota USA Newsroom
If Big Is Better, 2024 Toyota Sequoia Is Best

4WD Pro Hybrid With 3-Rows Elevates Full-Size

2025 Toyota Land Cruiser (Provided by Toyota).
2025 Toyota Land Cruiser revives its roots

After a 3-year hiatus, the go-anywhere SUV returns with a more adventurous vibe.

Enjoy the wilderness in the CX-50. Photo provided by Mazda USA Newsroom
2025 Mazda CX-50 Adds Hybrid Capability to Turbo Options

Line-Up Receives More Robust List Of Standard Equipment

Practical And Functional bZ4X basks in sunshine. Photo provided by Toyota Newsroom.
2024 bZ4X Puts Toyota Twist On All-Electric SUV’s

Modern Styling, Tech & All-Wheel Drive Highlight

Photo provided by Mazda USA Newsroom
2025 Mazda3 Turbo Premium Plus Hatch Delivers Value

Plus Functionality of AWD And G-Vectoring

2025 Mazda CX-90 Turbo SUV (Provided by Mazda)
2025 CX-90 Turbo models get Mazda’s most powerful engine

Mazda’s largest-ever SUV is equipped to handle the weight, with fuel efficiency kept in check.

Provided by Bridges Pets, Gifts, & Water Gardens.
Discover where to find the best pet supplies in town

Need the perfect store to spoil your furry friends? Herald readers have you covered.

VW Jetta SEL is a sedan that passes for a coupe. Photo provided by Volkswagen U.S. Media.
2025 VW Jetta Offers Greater Refinement, Technology And Value

A Perfect Choice For Small Families And Commuters

2025 Land Rover Range Rover Velar (Photo provided by Land Rover).
2025 Range Rover Velar SUV tends toward luxury

Elegant styling and a smaller size distinguish this member of the Land Rover lineup.

Honda Ridgeline TrailSport photo provided by Honda Newsroom
2025 Honda Ridgeline AWDt: A Gentlemen’s Pickup

TrailSport Delivers City Driving Luxury With Off-Road Chops

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.