I live in a family that is all-things-blended. When it comes to holidays, blended families would benefit from a navigation device, a handbook, three short rules from a tea box divination, and sometimes even a miracle.
This year I find I am prepared. Holidays? Bring it on. Rather than drive our adult children to the brink of insanity with “Where should they go for dinner? Are latkes at 4 or noon? Presents the night before or day after? Is Hanukkah with a “C” or “K”?”
I took a deep, meditative breath about the holidays and started with my husband. I asked him to pick a couple of days he would schedule to be off.
He asked if I was planning a surprise trip?
No surprise trip, darling, I want to be sure to take those exact same days off myself.
As a therapist, I often work during the holiday season. Not this year. This year I am not going to find myself doing sessions and buying frozen pies.
I decided I’m going to have an old-fashioned holiday at home. No work, no driving the blended family nuts.
As soon as my husband and I scheduled ourselves “off” for five days, I emailed all the adult kids and said, “We are doing something different this year for the holidays. Rather than schedule a night for dinner and gifts, we are scheduling a week of holiday. Come and go as you need or wish.”
The week is about playing games, taking walks, cooking, doing art, music and moccasin-making.
Yes, we ordered a moccasin kits for each person in our family.
This holiday week is about connecting as a family, enjoying the time together. I am not scheduling the latkes and the stockings. We have designated one room in our house for all things Christmas and one room for all things Hanukkah.
Rather than one night or one morning, we will just play all week, and my husband and I have promised ourselves and our kids that we will be the center of our season.
I don’t know how the holiday season became so complicated, but I found my Decembers filled with “events” and “emergencies.”
In between there were blissful family moments, reading aloud together, playing Scrabble.
I am determined to focus on the simple pleasures and share those at home with my family. Sometimes less truly is more. I feel like my focus is not so much on presents, but on presence.
Sarri Gilman is a freelance writer living on Whidbey Island and director of Leadership Snohomish County. Her column on living with meaning and purpose runs every other Tuesday in The Herald. You can email her at features@heraldnet.com.
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