By Michelle Barnes / Family Caregiver Specialist Lead, Homage Senior Services
When I began caring for my elderly parents (both with early Alzheimer’s not properly diagnosed), I was shocked to read that family caregivers often become more depressed than those they care for. And caregivers who have a chronic illness have a 63 percent higher death rate than non-caregivers of the same age. A year later, without a day off from my challenging elderly father, I was surprised the statistic was that low.
Additionally, I learned that caregivers of loved ones suffering with dementia are twice as likely to suffer from depression than those providing care for non-dementia patients — and the deeper the dementia, the deeper the depression is likely to be. Since 5.2 million people in the United States are afflicted with Alzheimer’s (just one form of dementia), and 7 out of 10 are cared for at home by family and friends who provide 75 percent to 80 percent of their care — millions of caregivers are suffering from depression or are at great risk of developing it.
Overwhelming responsibilities
A caregiver can get overwhelmed trying to manage too many responsibilities. Emotions fluctuate from sadness, loss, grief, isolation, anxiety, exhaustion, anger and frustration — and the resulting guilt for having those feelings. Caregivers tend to sacrifice their own careers, neglect healthy family members, ignore their own physical and emotional needs, and postpone their own medical checkups, resulting in undiagnosed and sometimes serious ailments.
Denial and desperation
Often times family members don’t even consider themselves “caregivers,” thinking they just need to toughen up. And since they’ve always been able to manage stressful situations and solve problems in the past, the perceived failure damages self-esteem and compounds feelings of desperation. Many family caregivers deal with the following heart-wrenching situations day after day, and don’t know where to turn:
Watches a loved one suffering and declining.
Worries about finances.
Spends hours and days at doctor appointments and hospitals.
Thinks about life and death issues and fears that the end is near.
Wonders if they will have a normal life again.
Feeling ashamed for not having enough patience, persistence and strength.
Seek help
Even though the stigma of seeing a health care professional for depression is lessening, many still feel it is a sign of weakness and that they will eventually snap out of it on their own. A National Mental Health Association survey found that many people do not seek treatment for depression simply because they feel ashamed and are embarrassed.
Compounding the problem, friends and family are not directly involved with the caregiving often don’t know how to support a caregiver’s needs. They might be emotionally unable to handle the stressful situation and back away, causing the caregiver to feel even more isolated and depressed.
Family Caregiver Support Program: Working with a Family Caregiver Specialist, you will identify areas you’d like help with and learn about the community resources that best fit your particular situation. Caregiver support groups, educational programs, self-care tips, and referrals to community resources are available to decrease your stress and improve self-confidence in your caregiving role.
Resources
Family Caregiver Resource Line: 425-290-1240, or snocare.org
Powerful Tools for Caregivers: If you are a spouse, adult child, relative or friend helping a loved one with a chronic illness or disability, this class may be for you. This six-week education series is designed to provide caregivers with tools needed to take care of themselves while supporting their loved one. Classes consist of interactive lessons, discussions and brainstorming to increase self-care and confidence in handling difficult situations, emotions and decisions.
A Powerful Tools for Caregivers class is being planned for late April 2018, to be held in the north Everett south Marysville area. The classes are free, but space is limited and registration is required. Contact Michelle Barnes, Family Caregiver Program, at 425-355-1116, for more information and to register.
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