Pink boots the first step to child’s independence

My 5-year-old daughter wanted to wear her hot pink cowgirl boots to school.

I had bought them for Western Day, and she wore them again at her horse birthday party. I thought that would be the end of them, but the boots are back, despite my best intentions.

I found a long pink skirt that I thought would look cute with the boots and let her wear the outfit.

That was on a Friday. On Saturday she wore the boots again. And again on Sunday.

Guess what happened on Monday? Yep. She wanted the boots. Again.

I tried to explain that they didn’t match her outfit, that the boots needed a break and that they may not be comfortable to wear all morning.

Didn’t work.

It’s happening. The daughter I once made every decision for and who didn’t really care what she wore to preschool is asserting herself. She is becoming more independent, and I am scrambling to catch up.

Another day Addie came out for school and announced: “Look, Mommy, I have a flower shirt, flower pants, flower socks and flower shoes on!”

“Mmm-hmm,” I said, overlooking the four different patterns. “That’s a lot of flowers.”

I don’t want my kid to look like her mother wasn’t paying attention when she got dressed. And I don’t want other kids to make fun of the boots she has worn 50 days in a row.

But I do want Addie to start making decisions for herself and learn that she can assert herself.

So where’s the line here? How do I let her be more independent but avoid looking like a fashion disaster at age 5?

Parenting expert Michele Borba said these little dressing examples should prompt me to give myself a pat on the back. Addie has a strong will and is opinionated.

“This is the goal you’re looking for. The whole goal in parenting is helping your child become a great adult on their own,” she said.

Wanting to make small decisions like dressing oneself in mismatched clothes is very normal and typical of young children, said Borba, author of the book “No More Misbehavin’.”

Because these little decisions I allow Addie to make will eventually turn into bigger decisions, she needs to be equipped to make them.

“The only way you learn good decision-making is through real life practice,” Borba said. “Not only do you have to make up your mind, you gotta handle the consequences.”

Addie also has started wanting to do other things for herself, like go to the next-door neighbor’s house to deliver cookies or borrow something I need.

“I can go by myself? Just me?” she asks.

I agree, but when she walks out the door, I hide behind the bush to make sure she makes it there.

Borba suggests using the rubber band technique. The goal is to stretch your child, but not so much that they snap. And parents should strive to instill confidence in their child by allowing them to do some things for themselves.

Safety should be the No. 1 concern, such as when I hide behind the tree to make sure my daughter is OK walking next door.

“If there’s ever that ounce of doubt, there’s no takebacks here. Once you say yes and allow her to do it, there aren’t any do-overs. You really want to make sure your child is prepared,” Borba said.

So for now we are on day four of the pink cowgirl boots.

Tomorrow she may suggest them again.

And I’m going to put a smile on my face and let her.