Gone are the days when you invite a few friends over for dinner without sweating over the menu.
As we approach the holiday season, the pressure to prove we are up to date with our low-carb, vegetarian, wheat-free, high-protein recipes will challenge the majority of us trying to slam a turkey on the table on time.
Let me just say that about three years ago, in my vegetarian stage, I tortured my family with a vegetarian turkey. It tasted like a basketball.
My family rebelled. There were threats of Thanksgiving sit-outs unless I returned to the traditional bird.
OK, OK, I surrendered.
I really didn’t want to create a miserable set of holiday memories. Visions of my kids avoiding my home for holidays was unbearable.
But the reality is that preparing to feed more than two people is complicated due to the various diet commitments people are pledging allegiance to. My mistake, don’t call it a “diet.” That word is out these days.
It’s a way of living.
Whatever.
Preparing a feast for 10 to 20 people is bound to bring up the issues of food allergies, questions of moral consciousness, and the syndrome of “I don’t eat that.”
No longer just for 3-year-olds, “I don’t eat that” applies to all age groups. At my last dinner party for 13 adults I heard, “I don’t eat cheese,” “I don’t eat wheat,” “I don’t eat meat” and “I don’t eat fish.” It’s like the new fashion statement.
Good thing I love these people.
It makes me want to sneer, “Frankly Scarlet, I don’t give a damn.” But being a picky eater myself, I have no license to use the phrase.
I also don’t have the culinary skills to create a dinner without using any offensive ingredients. Just in case you are facing the same dilemma with your guests, here’s my solution.
Before I do the food shopping, I have all guests of all ages let me know what they don’t like to eat or can’t eat. I try to assure them, I don’t need to hear the details, like what happens if you eat the offensive food. Just the list, thanks.
Then I plan a menu of choices, assuring that there is a way for all of my guests to eat at my table.
I serve organic salad; nothing beyond lettuce is in the bowl. All the add-ins, cheese, pecans, berries, beets, tomatoes, mushrooms, are in separate dishes to pass around the table. Two types of dressing accommodated the last 13 people for dinner.
I serve a meat dish, a fish dish and a vegetable-potato dish simultaneously.
As you read this, I hope you’re saying, well that’s not so complicated. The mistake I had made with my first vegetarian turkey was that I didn’t have the option of a turkey.
I’m not trying to force my food choices on anyone. I don’t think it’s rude to have a food preference, or an allergy, a health issue, or a moral choice around eating. I just really don’t want to spend my time at a dinner party hearing all about it. Allowing enough options for dinner frees my guests to focus on other more interesting topics.
A final word about dessert. After getting the list of things from my guests, I calculated that very few people would be able to eat the chocolate mousse cake, so I ordered a small chocolate mousse cake and made a big fruit salad with coconut topping.
My calculations were way off. Apparently chocolate mousse cake is in everyone’s diet. There are exceptions to every rule.
Sarri Gilman is a freelance writer living on Whidbey Island. Her column on living with meaning and purpose runs every other Tuesday in The Herald. She is a therapist, a wife and a mother, and has founded two nonprofit organizations to serve homeless children. You can e-mail her at features@heraldnet.com .
Talk to us
> Give us your news tips.
> Send us a letter to the editor.
> More Herald contact information.
