‘Repo Men’: Steer clear of this ugly, ultraviolent disgrace

  • By Colin Covert Star Tribune (Minneapolis)
  • Thursday, March 18, 2010 12:21pm
  • LifeGo-See-Do

With its radiantly ugly visuals, mean-spirited worldview and gut-wrenching levels of gore, “Repo Men” is about as entertaining as a burst appendix.

And yet you can see why the production got a green light from the studio. Projecting America’s health industry to the next level, “Repo Men” has the framework of a morbid / gonzo science fiction satire like “Soylent Green” or “Idiocracy.”

In this misanthropic prophecy, artificial organs (artiforgs) can keep you living after your biological parts give out.

The catch: They cost an arm and a leg. Most patients can only afford them on the installment plan. Fall behind in your payments and the bio-repossession collector retrieves your implants.

The tale follows Jude Law as a middle-of-the-food-chain bio-repo man. He likes his work. The money’s good, there’s a rush to bringing down violators, and he meets interesting people.

In one episode, he lets hip-hop king RZA finish mixing a music track before retrieving his company’s property.

Irony of ironies, when Law is injured on the job, he awakens with a mechanical ticker and payments he can’t afford. After his change of heart, he wants out of the collection racket. And his partner (Forest Whitaker) is now his nemesis. Ah, what clockwork ironies!

Imagine the worst film that could be made from this premise. Now envision something 10 times worse. That’s “Repo Men.”

It’s a grade-B concept executed with grade-Z creative instincts.

Former storyboard artist Miguel Sapochnik has never directed a movie before. On the basis of this effort, I’m not sure he’s ever seen a film before. But at least he’s got that storyboard day job.

The film is further proof of the Oscar Curse for Whitaker, whose luck hasn’t improved since last week’s fiasco “Our Family Wedding.”

Law is not convincing as a remorseless corporate henchman, nor as a transformed man of conscience. He is up to the physical challenges of the role, however, slicing open bodies with a surgical/sadistic relish rarely seen outside snuff films.

“Repo Men” (no stars)

Jude Law and Forest Whitaker in a movie so bad, they owe the audience an apology.

Rated: R for strong bloody violence, grisly images, language and some sexuality/nudity

Showing: Alderwood, Everett, Galaxy Monroe, Marysville, Meridian, Metro, Oak Tree, Woodinville, Cascade Mall

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