Call it Revenge of the Sixth.
After “The Phantom Menace” and “The Clone Wars” – the largely disappointing fourth and fifth films of the “Stars Wars” saga – expectations for the final, planned entry were as low as the Sarlacc’s belly. (Trust us – that’s low.) Yet like the die-hard heroes of those cliffhanger serials from which “Star Wars” takes inspiration, “Revenge of the Sith,” which opened Thursday, pulls off a breathtaking, last-minute rescue.
With the long-awaited “Sith’s” arrival – and with “Star Wars” creator George Lucas having announced both the end of the film franchise and the development of a TV series to fill in the story between this prequel and the original 1977 movie – it’s as good a time as any to reflect on the best and worst moments of a pop-culture juggernaut nearly 30 years old and stronger than ever.
So what constitutes cool in this context? Moments that starkly show what a character is all about, that give us an unforeseen twist, that have become iconic and that generate a “Wow!” Or, sometimes, it’s just a moment of gee-whiz wizardry that reminds us that moving pictures are supposed to move.
Here’s our selection for the top 10 coolest “Star Wars” moments:
10. Speeder-bike race on Endor’s moon (“Return of the Jedi,” 1983). Sure, there are more modern visual effects in “The Phantom Menace’s” Podracer competition, but that’s an organized race begun in an arena and covering a set course. When Imperial scout troopers on speeder bikes chase Princess Leia and Luke Skywalker at 300 mph through a heavily wooded forest, zigzagging and zooming like metal whirlwinds around (and occasionally into) trees – now that’s some fancy flying.
9. Yoda vs. Darth Sidious (“Revenge of the Sith,” 2005). The Muppet gets medieval on His Ascendancy. Using an apparent mix of CGI and animatronics, the little Jedi master dispatches two armed guards with no effort – yet finds himself matched and outmatched by the Sith Lord’s command of the dark side of the Force. Until he retreats to the planet where Luke will meet him in “The Empire Strikes Back,” the wise old Yoda is a green tornado, and we see what all that “master” hubbub was about.
8. Gen. Grievous: Forewarned is forearmed (“Sith”). Without giving spoilers, let’s just say that when the Confederacy of Independent Systems’ military chief battles Obi-Wan Kenobi on an out-world outpost, the cyborg general gets to use the entire collection of light sabers he’s taken off fallen Jedi.
7. Darth Mauling the Jedi (“The Phantom Menace,” 1999). The Sith hits the fan when Darth Sidious’ demonic apprentice, Darth Maul, fights a balletic battle using a newly introduced, double-bladed light saber against Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn and Jinn’s Padawan (apprentice), Obi-Wan Kenobi. It doesn’t end well for two of the three, but till then, it’s “The Nutcracker” meets “Kung Fu Hustle.”
6. Yoda Man (“The Empire Strikes Back,” 1980). On the uncharted planet Dagobah, young Luke hopes to apprentice with the legendary Yoda. Or, at least, he’ll try. That’s when Yoda delivers the enduring line: “No. Try not. Do … or do not. There is no try.”
5. Lost in spaceship (“Star Wars,” 1977). The seemingly endless glide of the Imperial Star Destroyer, entering the screen in foreground and filling it to the horizon, was an awakening jolt from the lithe, little rockets and flying saucers that previously had been the province of sci-fi film and TV.
4. Han Solo shoots first (“Star Wars”). When we first meet charming scoundrel Han Solo, we learn immediately that this isn’t your daddy’s heroic sidekick. No white-hat cowboy he, Han shoots first – his blaster hidden beneath a table – and shoots to kill when confronted by a bounty hunter. Greedo never got a shot off. Granted, he had a gun pointed at Han the whole time, but still … (See also Lamest Moment No.1.)
3. Leia in the metal bikini chokes Jabba to death (“Jedi”). Hellooooo, Princess! Who knew Carrie Fisher was hot? Having Leia – the archetypal captive princess – help save the day by offing the intergalactic gangster was a nice surprise. But what folks mostly remember is the metal bikini.
2. Enter Obi-Wan Kenobi (“Star Wars”). When the great Sir Alec Guinness throws back his hood and reveals the weathered, comforting, wise yet inscrutable face of “Ben Kenobi,” even those who never saw “Lawrence of Arabia” or his Oscar-winning performance in “The Bridge on the River Kwai” knew something special was happening.
1. “I am your father!” (“Empire”). It’s Oedipal, it’s biblical, it’s Joseph Campbell. Darth Vader, seeking to lure Luke to the dark side, reveals his paternal secret during a light-saber battle in which the father cuts off his son’s hand. For all their pulp-fiction faults and studiously deliberate melodrama, “Star Wars’ ” melding of populist cinema, grand themes and eternal verities doesn’t get any purer than that.
The top five lamest “Star Wars” moments:
5. Special guest star Jabba the Hutt (“Star Wars: Special Edition”). In a computer-generated effect not too well added to a scene filmed for but unused in the original 1977 release, Jabba talks money with Han Solo on the street in Mos Eisley. The plot stops dead for a minute to rehash old information, and Harrison Ford, who couldn’t know where to look, talks at but not with what’s supposed to be a more than 12-foot-tall space slug.
4. All the friendly ghosts waving bye (“Jedi”). Obi-Wan, Yoda and an unmasked Darth Vader-Anakin Skywalker return in ethereal form to give Luke a little “nice work, lad.” Death be not proud? There’s sure no pride here. How does an ethereal being sit down on a corporeal log?
3. Ewoks (“Jedi”). Ee-yeww. A bunch of teddy bears with rocks and arrows defeats highly feared, highly armed Imperial storm troopers? Let me go in there with one Tec-9 …
2. Jar Jar Binks (“Phantom”). “Meea yo humba suhvent!” Echoing the Nazis at Nuremberg, as “Star Wars” does in that first film’s closing-medal ceremony, is dubious enough. But echoing Stepin Fetchit? Maybe Jar Jar and Shrek’s pal Donkey should get together and share notes.
1. Greedo shoots first (“Star Wars: Special Edition,” 1997). With Stalin-like historical revisionism, George Lucas obliterated an early moment that established Han Solo’s novel antiheroic streak (see Coolest Moment No. 4) and reverted to the hoary cliche of “the good guy never fires first.” The 20th-anniversary re-release was changed so that bounty hunter Greedo shoots first – and misses at point-blank range. Greedo’s entry in the official “Star Wars” Web site also specifically erases history. For shame.
BONUS 1: Best “Star Wars”-related moment:
Bill Murray as Nick the lounge singer (with the ever-changing last name, on “Saturday Night Live”). As Nick Winters, playing the Powder Room at the Meatloaf Mountain ski resort, he piggybacks on what’s popular, no matter how ill-suited to his vocal stylings. To the tune of John Barry’s theme: “Starrrr Wars!/Nothing but Starrrr Wars!/Gimme those Starrrr Wars!/Don’t let them end!” Ironically, he’s gotten his wish.
BONUS 2: Worst “Star Wars”-related moment:
“The ‘Star Wars’ Holiday Special.” But “worst” in the nicest way. Sure, this psychedelically surreal, two-hour variety special aired only once (CBS, Nov. 17, 1978). Sure, it had dithering space-trader Art Carney being told by a storm trooper, a la Ralph Kramden, to “Get on with iiiitt!” Sure, Bea Arthur, as a cantina owner, sings a sub-Brechtian weeper and dances with aliens. Sure, a Wookiee gets excited when viewing Diahann Carroll as a “Mermeia Holographic Wow.” And sure, Chewbacca’s relatives have “Leave It to Beaver” names like Itchy and Lumpy.
But it also stars all the original actors, has a story by George Lucas (who removed his name), and there’s an 11-minute cartoon introducing cult-hit bounty hunter Boba Fett. Bootlegs abound, there’s a forum for it on the official “Star Wars” site, and you can petition for its video release at www.petitiononline.com/smcranda/petition.html.
Anakin Skywalker (Hayden Christensen) and his one-time mentor Obi-Wan Kenobi (Ewan McGregor) fight an apocalyptic battle on the rolling lava surface of the planet Mustafar in “Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.”
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