Stay in touch with what teen reads

Question: Your teen is reading a book whose contents are offensive to your moral code. Should you forbid him or her from reading it?

Answer: Hold your nose and grab yourself a copy of the darn book, says Sarah Flowers, president of the Young Adult Library Services Association.

“The parent should read the book and discuss with their teenager why they found it morally objectionable and hear what the teen’s response is,” says Flowers, whose group works to ensure teens get access to high-quality library services.

“If the parent doesn’t freak out, the book is an opportunity to have an important discussion on somewhat neutral ground, since your teen isn’t actually doing something morally objectionable, they’re just reading about it.”

You may also find, in reading it, that the book isn’t what you feared.

“You might find out there are consequences in the book you weren’t aware of or that your teenager actually agrees with you, despite what’s happening in the book,” she adds.

Books, more than TV shows or movies, Flowers argues, allow for many different interpretations, which can lead to the kind of thought-provoking conversations parents should be eager to have with their teens.

“Teenagers, developmentally, are exploring the world and trying to figure out who they are and where they belong and I think reading is a big part of that,” she says. “I think discussing it respects the teenager’s intelligence and allows for a more adult conversation about how they see the material and what they think it’s all about.”

You might also ask your librarian to recommend other books that cover similar subject matter so you can keep the discussion going, beyond one author’s take.

Of course, you taking an interest in the topic might also knock it down a peg or two in the coolness category, which could work to your advantage. “It kind of demystifies it,” Flowers says, “and makes it a little more ordinary and not so much like a forbidden fruit.”