This is the point in summer vacation where I lock myself in the bathroom, turn on the fan and sit on the floor and hide. There might also be a beverage of choice involved, but I’m not saying.
Being a stay-at-home parent is tough. The school year dazzles us with luxuries like going to the grocery store alone, or visiting the OB/GYN without an audience. Then summer hits and it’s all kids, all the time, without any breaks. Parents of little ones are conditioned to this already, but those of us with school-aged children have grown soft.
Case in point, while writing the previous two paragraphs I have been interrupted six times and have now forgotten what my point was. I think it was something about how summer can be stressful for everyone.
I’m not a full-time working parent but I realize that they can have it worse. When I listened to my friend describe the logistics of her children’s back-to-back summer camps, multiple babysitters, and sacrificed vacation days, I was dumbstruck, and that was before she told me how much money it would cost. The pressure on working parents to piece childcare plans together is immense.
When I was 8 years old I had the deluded impression that by the time I grew up businesses would have onsite childcare. Now 8-year-olds spend three weeks at science camp, two weeks at zoo camp, one week with Grandma, four weeks at the YMCA. and the first month of third grade wondering what the heck happened.
My own children experience summer camps too, but in a smaller way. Most of their vacation is spent at home immersed in the unique learning opportunities that come with boredom. Meaning of course, they are constantly bugging me for screen time or mom-servitude.
Boredom is a challenge/opportunity that many kids today aren’t familiar with. From September to June their schedules are packed. Parents like me shuttle them from one activity to the next because “go outside and play” isn’t always an option. If you look up the sex offenders in your ZIP code, you’ll understand why. Or perhaps your neighborhood doesn’t have many children at all.
I heard a mom brag once that, “Nobody says they are bored in my house because kids with nothing to do get chores.” At the time I thought that was brilliant. Now I wonder if it punishes kids for expressing a multitude of feelings in that two-word complaint: “I’m bored.”
For kids, summer at home is like going from full-time employment to job loss, only without the scary financial pressures. As the weeks roll by, reality sets in. Change can be taxing, not seeing your friends is depressing and there is such a thing as too much family togetherness.
This summer, while hiding in the bathroom, I try to remember that vacation can be hard on children too. I want my kids to enjoy the summer months, not endure them, and that positive message needs to come from me.
Jennifer Bardsley is an Edmonds mom of two, and author of the book “Genesis Girl.” Find her online on Instagram @the_ya_gal, Twitter @jennbardsley or at teachingmybabytoread.com.
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