There’s no way Mom can ever be as cool as Auntie

My much younger sister came to visit this week from San Francisco. I started mixing up her name and my daughter’s name almost immediately.

“Mommy!” my daughter would say. “I’m not Auntie!”

I would catch myself saying the wrong name, but be incapable of stopping myself. The more tired I got, the worse the problem became.

If I had a newborn, I could blame this memory lapse on mommy-brain. But my daughter is 3 years old. Plus, I’ve known my sister for her entire life. I really should know her name by now.

“At least you don’t have a dog,” my sister said. “I don’t let anybody call me Rover.”

My daughter finally settled things by asking to be called “Pinkie Sparkles” for the duration of her aunt’s visit. That turned out to be really helpful. For some reason, it was easier to remember Pinkie Sparkles then the name I actually gave my daughter after nine months of pregnancy and 12 hours of labor.

Pinkie named herself after the sparkly pink caboodle my sister bought her at Target. My daughter is using this box to house her My Little Pony collection.

But according to some guys my sister knows in San Francisco, strippers use that same type of box to collect money before they leave the stage! Auntie didn’t know about this until after her purchase. Now we’re all thinking Pinkie Sparkles isn’t such a sweet name after all.

Having my life as a stay-at-home mom in Snohomish County compared to my sister’s single life in San Francisco makes me feel about as boring as you can get. I never get to hang out with friends and eat pizza, but I occasionally run into people I know at Fred Meyer.

I’ve never broken up a fist fight between an angry lesbian couple, but I have stopped a toddler from throwing sand at the park.

I’ve never been mugged or stabbed in the back by a shard of glass, but I have tripped over some junk in my garage and cut myself on a cardboard box.

See what I mean? By comparison, I’m boring with a capital B.

My sister is on her way home to her exciting life right now. Her ticket to SFO is in coach, but she gets to sit there all by herself with her fancy new iPad. Nobody’s rummaging through her purse for gum, and nobody’s asking her to go potty right when the fasten-your-seat-belt light comes on.

Later this week, my sister might swing by the spa for a massage. As for me, the kids and I are planning on going to the pool in Lynnwood. The family Jacuzzi is kind of like a spa, only some people are wearing swim diapers.

At least my nomenclature problems have disappeared. I can finally drop this Pinkie Sparkles business and start remembering my daughter’s proper name. But maybe I’ll talk to my husband about getting a dog, or perhaps some chickens. Life seems a little bit less exciting around here now that Auntie Sparkles is gone.

Jennifer Bardsley is an Edmonds mom of two and blogs at http://teachingmybabytoread.blog.com.

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Life

Photo courtesy of Graphite Arts Center
Amelia DiGiano’s photography is part of the “Seeing Our Planet” exhibit, which opens Friday and runs through Aug. 9 at the Graphite Arts Center in Edmonds.
A&E Calendar for July 10

Send calendar submissions for print and online to features@heraldnet.com. To ensure your… Continue reading

Snohomish County Dahlia Society members Doug Symonds and Alysia Obina on Monday, March 3, 2025 in Lake Stevens, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
How to grow for show: 10 tips for prize-winning dahlias

Snohomish County Dahlia Society members share how they tend to their gardens for the best blooms.

What’s Up columnist Andrea Brown with a selection of black and white glossy promotional photos on Wednesday, June 18, 2025 in Everett, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Free celeb photos! Dig into The Herald’s Hollywood time capsule

John Wayne, Travolta, Golden Girls and hundreds more B&W glossies are up for grabs at August pop-up.

The 2025 Audi A3 premium compact sedan (Provided by Audi).
2025 Audi A3 upgradesdesign and performance

The premium compact sedan looks sportier, acts that way, too.

Edmonds announces summer concert lineup

The Edmonds Arts Commission is hosting 20 shows from July 8 to Aug. 24, featuring a range of music styles from across the Puget Sound region.

Big Bend Photo Provided By Ford Media
2025 Ford Bronco Sport Big Bend Increases Off-Road Capability

Mountain Loop Highway Was No Match For Bronco

Cascadia College Earth and Environmental Sciences Professor Midori Sakura looks in the surrounding trees for wildlife at the North Creek Wetlands on Wednesday, June 4, 2025 in Bothell, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Cascadia College ecology students teach about the importance of wetlands

To wrap up the term, students took family and friends on a guided tour of the North Creek wetlands.

Mustang Convertible Photo Provided By Ford Media Center
Ford’s 2024 Ford Mustang Convertible Revives The Past

Iconic Sports Car Re-Introduced To Wow Masses

Kim Crane talks about a handful of origami items on display inside her showroom on Monday, Feb. 17, 2025, in Snohomish, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Crease is the word: Origami fans flock to online paper store

Kim’s Crane in Snohomish has been supplying paper crafters with paper, books and kits since 1995.

The 2025 Nissan Murano midsize SUV has two rows of seats and a five-passenger capacity. (Photo provided by Nissan)
2025 Nissan Murano is a whole new machine

A total redesign introduces the fourth generation of this elegant midsize SUV.

A woman flips through a book at the Good Cheer Thrift Store in Langley. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Pop some tags at Good Cheer Thrift Store in Langley

$20 buys an outfit, a unicycle — or a little Macklemore magic. Sales support the food bank.

Kathy Johnson walks over a tree that has been unsuccessfully chainsawed along a CERCLA road n the Mt. Baker-Snoqualmie National Forest on Thursday, July 10, 2025 in Granite Falls, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
How Roadless Rule repeal could affect forests like Mt. Baker-Snoqualmie

The Trump administration plans to roll back a 2001 rule protecting over 58 million acres of national forest, including areas in the Mt. Baker-Snoqualmie area.

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.