Karon Steepy circled the Everett clinic six times in her car. She knew she had to go in but she didn’t want to make the appointment. She was stalling.
Steepy, a Mountlake Terrace resident, knew she was facing chemotherapy inside the clinic. But she was in denial. Eventually, she parked the car and went in.
It was January 2003 when Steepy, 58, was diagnosed with breast cancer.
"When I heard the word cancer I was devastated," Steepy said.
No one in her family had suffered from cancer, let alone breast cancer. She had discovered the lump herself.
But even with that devastation and the feelings of denial, Steepy went looking for support.
"She was sitting in her chair at the support group shaking," Cathy Barry of Everett said.
Barry, 50, had come to the group because of her own breast cancer. She was the woman in the flannel hat with vintage cherries on it.
Little did the two women know that the pain and trauma of breast cancer was about to bring them together in a deep friendship where support of each other meant finishing each other’s sentences.
"We’re attached at the hip now," Barry said.
Together the women decided to leave the support group and find a meeting more specific to their issues with breast cancer.
The breast cancer support group they found is held at Providence Everett Medical Center, Pacific campus. Women meet twice a month to talk, listen to speakers and share their own experiences in the hopes that it will help others.
The support group deals with issues that some breast cancer patients are not comfortable sharing with their families.
"I always felt I had to be really strong for my family," Barry said.
The meetings are a safe place to share feelings about treatment, recovery and personal issues.
"The support group gives you a safe place on those days you don’t feel very brave," Barry said.
The group started off small but has grown to eight to 10 women, said Patti Davis a social worker at Providence Everett Medical Center.
The idea that Barry and Steepy began a new relationship is a joy to Davis.
"Women feel alone and don’t realize that you can make those bonds," Davis said. "There’s such a depth to it and a diagnosis of cancer hits you so deep."
In the group women get feedback about issues on early menopause, which can be a side effect of chemotherapy. They talk about what to ask their doctors and what course of treatment they are following.
"The big thing to know is that you’re not in this alone," Barry said.
That was true for Steepy. When she and Barry met, Barry was already bald. Steepy was still to lose her hair. She dreaded the chemotherapy.
"Karon and I helped each other through the cold, gray and bald days," Barry said.
Barry had been diagnosed with cancer in November 2002. She had two surgeries between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
"I didn’t have a lump. I had a thickening," Barry said. It felt "like how a water blister feels."
But she decided to adopt a positive attitude and figured that by the time her treatment came along she’d skip into the clinic.
"Bring it on," Barry said.
She began chemotherapy in January and lost her hair by February.
Barry often refers to "chemo brain," a side effect of the treatment that made her lose her train of thought.
"The word just isn’t there," Barry said. "You know you know it."
The words weren’t there one day when Steepy was giving Barry a ride home.
Usually Barry liked to walk or take the bus. But this day she found herself sitting in Steepy’s car heading along Rucker Avenue. Turn here, turn there, Barry said, directing her friend to her home for the first time.
As Steepy pulled up to the house she couldn’t believe that Barry lived there.
"What’s that look on your face?" Barry said.
"My grandparents used to live in that house," Steepy said.
The two women got chills. They also knew that the relationship was meant to be. It was a seed planted because of the trials and trauma of breast cancer.
"She’s a much stronger person than what she gives credit for. She is a very accepting person. She makes me laugh," Barry said.
"She said that because I bought lunch," Steepy said.
Reporter Christina Harper: 425-339-3491 or
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