Last week in Starwatch I attempted to explain the tricks for finding Ursa Major, the Big Bear and Ursa Minor, the Little Bear in local skies. The Little Bear and the famous Little Dipper are one and the same, and the Big Dipper makes up the rear end and tail of the Big Bear, Ursa Major, which is the brightest part of the Big Bear. Both bears are now riding high in the northern sky.
The story of how the bears got into the sky is my one of my favorite tales (or tails). Like all astronomical mythology, there are many different versions for each constellation and I know of at least a dozen stories about Ursa Major and Ursa Minor. My favorite story, from Greek mythology, involves a beautiful young woman named Callisto and her son Arcus. I have to warn mythology purists out there that I take poetic license with these stories, and bring them up to date. Is there really such a thing as the correct mythology anyway?
Callisto was a beautiful young woman in her late 20’s, who tragically became a widow and single mom when her husband was killed in a war. Fortunately she had a pretty good job and she worked really hard at it. Callisto was also very fortunate because Arcus, her wonderful eight-year-old son, really helped out his mom around the house and made life a little easier for her. He even made supper for her some nights.
Even with all the help, Callisto worked very hard both at home and work, and on Saturday mornings she treated herself by heading down to a nearby lake where she would sit on a park bench and feed the ducks. She found that very relaxing.
One bright sunny morning as she was enjoying life with her ducky friends, Zeus, the king of the gods, was taking a stroll around that same lake. Without a doubt, he was quite a hunky god and was legendary for being a ladies man. Zeus gave Callisto a million dollar smile and then talked her into a cup of coffee at a local bistro and sweet-talked her some more. A few days later they went to the movies, and the next Saturday they made plans to go to a local amusement park. All of this would have been just fine, but Zeus was already engaged to marry the goddess Hera.
One thing you don’t do is tick off Hera. She was furious when she found out about Zeus’s love adventures. After all, she already had the flowers ordered for her wedding day and had the VFW hall reserved for the reception. Then Hera found out about Zeus’s plans at the amusement park that coming Saturday and decided to give him a huge surprise.
Hera arrived at the park as soon as it opened on Saturday morning and hid in the bushes next to the giant roller coaster. Later that morning along came Zeus and Callisto, arm in arm. When they got close enough, Hera jumped out of the bushes, held up her magic finger, pointed at Callisto, and turned her into a big bear. This caused quite a commotion. Security was summoned and took chase after Callisto. She was desperate to get away and found a hole in the fence. On all fours she shot into the nearby woods to live the life of a bear. Meanwhile, Hera dragged Zeus away by his ear.
Tragically, Arcus was left without a mother as well a father. He didn’t know what happened to his mother, just that she disappeared. As sad as that was, life went on and Arcus moved in with relatives and grew up to become of all things, a professional game hunter.
One day Arcus was out in the woods with his new bow and arrow set, when he saw a giant female bear saunter his way. Yes, it was the same bear that ran out of the amusement park years earlier. Arcus didn’t know anything about that and raised his bow to shoot his own mother. Talk about Greek tragedy. As luck would have it, Zeus was taking a stroll through the woods at that same time and ran into this scene. He recognized the bear from that ugly Saturday morning by the roller coaster and also recognized Arcus as a grown man. He tried to convince Arcus that the bear that he was about to shoot was actually his mother. Arcus was having a hard time swallowing that and took aim. Zeus couldn’t let that happen so out of desperation, just before the arrow left the bow, the king of the gods took his magic finger, pointed it at Arcus, and turned him into a little bear. Once this happened Arcus recognized his mother and they gave each other big bear hugs.
While this was happening, Hera, still angry after all those years, was watching from afar and became totally enraged. Fire was shooting from her ears as she swooped down from Mount Olympus. Zeus figured he better do something to defuse the situation. He thought if he at least got rid of the bears it might save his hide. So Zeus reached down and grabbed both bears by their tails. Then, with his godly strength, he launched the bears into the northern sky and they magically became the constellations we see every night, forever safe from Hera and her temper.
You can’t help but notice that Ursa Major and Minor have really long tails, more like squirrels than bears. But hey, your tail would be stretched out too if someone heaved you into the heavens by your tail. And that’s what I call the tale of the tails.
Mike Lynch is an amateur astronomer and professional broadcast meteorologist for WCCO Radio in Minneapolis.
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