The ’80s were that dark spot in our pop cultural history that still somehow gleams with feathered hair, sequins and neon lighting.
Sure, the ’60s had those funny pants and funny hair and funny music.
And the ’70s had different funny pants and funny hair and funny music.
But the ’80s had it all.
The ’80s gave us Quiet Riot and Herbie Hancock; mullets and jerry curls; Monchichis and Cabbage Patch Kids; Haley’s Comet and “Star Wars” (the missile-defense program, not the movie, silly).
And who better to relive it all for us in a string of hourlong bits of sarcasm, witticism and skepticism than VH-1?
The cable channel is returning to its bread and butter with “I Love the ’80s: 3D,” which races through the decade in one week, featuring a year every hour at 9 and 10 p.m. tonight through Friday.
For starters, forget about the ridiculous “3D” aspect of the newest “I Love the ’80s” installment, which is the third time VH-1 has visited the time-honored era.
There are 3D glasses available at Best Buy stores, but don’t bother.
Maybe it was just a ruse intended to recreate the eventual disappointment of every 3D movie you ever attended in the ’80s, but the glasses do nothing to enhance the picture and they’ll only give you a headache after five minutes.
The good news is that you can take them off and see the screen without that fuzziness.
Do that.
Travel through the ’80s with VH-1’s pack of snarky comedians as they lovingly rip on virtually everything, including the Snuggles bear, the it-was-all-in-a-snowglobe ending to “St. Elsewhere” and the cinematic feat that was “D.C. Cab.”
Some of our favorite faces from the ’80s make appearances, as well, including Elvira, who highlights the biggest boob of each year. The honor goes to Geraldo Rivera in 1986, when he duped 50 million people into watching him open Al Capone’s vault to find … nothing.
“The vault was as empty as Geraldo’s head,” Elvira quips.
“Love Connection” host Chuck Woolery also shows up to present the best on-screen romance for each year, including the spark between Mallory and Nick on “Family Ties.”
Fox on ‘Actor’s Studio’
Perhaps everyone’s favorite ’80s icon is Michael J. Fox and, sadly, we don’t get to see enough of him these days.
Fox has made judicious use of the spotlight since going public with the news that he has Parkinson’s disease, but he makes an appearance for an hourlong interview on Bravo’s “Inside the Actors Studio” at 8 p.m. Sunday.
Fox talks about growing up in Canada, wanting to act and being so desperate for work that he needed to use a pay phone outside a fast-food chicken restaurant to discuss his contract with the casting director for “Family Ties.”
The show’s creator originally wanted Matthew Broderick to play the part. He turned it down.
Another twist of fate came with “Back to the Future,” which originally was to star Eric Stoltz and had actually begun production with Stoltz before the role of Marty McFly was recast and Fox swooped in.
The “Actors Studio” interview is a touching and inspiring hour as Fox discusses his life after being diagnosed with the disease and what impact it would have on his career.
“It’s a disease that makes you uncomfortable, so, all things considered, that’s not too bad,” Fox says. “It’s still a gift in that it makes one alive. To see what I’ve lost makes me see what I’ve gained and what I have.”
Victor Balta’s column runs Mondays and Thursdays on the A&E page. Reach him at 425-339-3455 or vbalta@heraldnet.com.
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