This cold and flu season, I got pneumonia and a sinus infection at the same time, then bronchitis, then bronchitis again and again and again, and then the flu strain B with another sinus infection.
It’s not like I didn’t have any warning. When I came down with pneumonia in November, the doctor told me I’d have weakened lungs and be susceptible to germs for the next four months. He was right.
My husband says that my new catch phrase should be “I think I’m getting sicker.” I think my new catch phrase should be “When we’re old we’re spending winter in Arizona.” If I was a snowbird, I’d fly far away.
I’ve tried to be careful. I wash my hands religiously and wipe down the grocery cart with disinfecting wipes when I go to Fred Meyer. I eat healthy foods and take probiotics. I’ve become the type of person who worries about “catching a chill.”
But despite my conscientiousness, I’ve become a frequent visitor to the Rite Aid cold and flu aisle. The pharmacists have this look in their eyes that says “Oh, it’s you again,” whenever I approach the counter with a prescription for another round of antibiotics.
There was this one point in February when I was healthy-ish and giving a presentation to the Friends of Edmonds Library that was particularly memorable. Five minutes into my speech, I started coughing and then — bam! I lost my voice. An audience member came to my rescue with a cough drop she found in her purse. If it wasn’t for that cough drop, I would have been too hoarse to continue.
If you asked my kids, what’s seared into their memories is the week that I was on Prednisone because it turned me into mom with roid-rage. The combination of Prednisone, antibiotics and asthma medicine did finally get rid of my cough, but it also gave me an unnatural amount of energy and made me lose my social filter. “YOU LEFT YOUR CEREAL BOWL ON THE COUNTER?”
I spent the whole week talking in all-caps. My kids spent the week hiding in their rooms.
Coming off the Prednisone was similar to having a migraine for two days, but afterward, I was all better. I had five days of perfect health. Oh, that glorious feeling of normalcy! Then I caught the flu, even though I had been vaccinated.
I did not know that the flu could still nab you in late spring, but it’s talented that way. It does other impressive things, too, like wake you up in the middle of the night because you’re unable to breathe, and trick you into feeling like you’ve been hit by a truck.
The flu also breeds jealousy, especially when everyone in your family catches it but your teenage son. How? Why? I’m still scratching my head on this one. Maybe the secret to cold and flu prevention is to embrace the lifestyle of a 13-year-old boy. Chocolate milk and video games must be the answer.
Bake an extra dozen cookies for me please, I’m trying to stay healthy.
Jennifer Bardsley is author of the books “Genesis Girl” and “Damaged Goods.” Find her online on Instagram @the_ya_gal, on Twitter @jennbardsley or on Facebook as The YA Gal.
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