I have a difficult question for you: How old should a child be before he walks home from school alone?
Let’s say we’re talking about a short distance in a quiet neighborhood. Does that change your answer?
My husband and I have discussed it at length and we feel comfortable with our fourth grader having this brief taste of freedom. But I think we might be in the minority.
In our neighborhood, I know a lot of kids who are still being chaperoned home from school until they’re in high school. The one mother I know who let her second-grader walk a brief distance home on his own… was spoken to by a teacher.
If you’re a Baby Boomer who waved goodbye to your mom and walked a mile to kindergarten with your best friend, you might think that parents today are guilty of being overly cautious.
But if you were in any way involved in the Millennial Generation, either as a parent or a child, you might think my husband and I are crazy for even letting our son out of our sight.
Think about it though: When we tell our maturing kids that the world is too scary to walk home on their own, that sends a series of powerful messages. “You’re incapable without me. I don’t trust you with something as simple as walking on a sidewalk.” Or even worse: “The big bad world is so terrifying, that you better stay close to me as long as possible.”
That sounds like a recipe for raising freaked-out kids who need their parents to do everything for them. Don’t sign me up for that.
I’ve got enough problems dealing with my own paranoia. Horrid stories in the national news about child abductions are always on my mind. I know I’m not the only mother afraid of ice cream trucks. Or what about people with untreated mental health issues who might live nearby?
Even worse, type your address into a website called www.familywatchdog.us and it will pull up a list of the registered sex offenders in your neighborhood. It’s enough to give a healthy person a heart attack.
My son knows that if anyone tried to snatch him, he should kick, bite, scream and run away. Still, maybe fourth grade isn’t the right age — I don’t know. Maybe this is something parents need to decide on a kid by kid, location by location basis.
But the risk of a child being kidnapped is small compared to the chance of raising an adult who is financially and emotionally dependent upon his parents. How is a child being picked up from school at age 18 going to succeed in college a few months later?
My goal is to rear grownups who make good decisions about their own well-being. Because it’s not just about walking home from the school, it’s taking the first step towards becoming an independent adult.
Jennifer Bardsley is an Edmonds mom of two and blogs at www.heraldnet.com/ibrakeformoms and teachingmybabytoread.com.
Talk to us
> Give us your news tips.
> Send us a letter to the editor.
> More Herald contact information.
