Family vacations are best left to the imagination.
Have you ever returned from a family vacation and asked yourself, “What the heck just happened?”
That first night home after putting your children to bed in their own room you cry with gratitude for the comfort of your mattress and the bliss of uninterrupted sleep. Nobody kicks you! Nobody squirrels down in the covers! You wake up refreshed and return gleefully to work on Monday. Your daily routine is your favorite destination.
When you look back on the trip you realize nothing went wrong exactly, but that it was exhausting making sure everybody had a good time.
That’s how I feel at the moment — exhausted.
My family recently came home from a four-day trip to Vancouver, British Columbia. Before we left I had grand plans about writing a column recounting our adventures. But now I’d much rather tell you about my daughter’s imaginary friend, Apple Dumpling, who went along for the journey.
Apple Dumpling was a delightful travel companion.
She walked for miles like a champ, despite crummy weather. Apple Dumpling was overjoyed to learn about international spruce trees at the VanDusen Botanical Garden. She was an angel in the back seat of our car and never got into sibling squabbles that made me fight for sanity. Apple Dumpling kept herself in solid health and did not eat a half-rack of ribs and vomit it all up three hours later. At every possible moment Apple Dumpling made me think, “This trip was money well spent.”
Years from now I will continue to cherish Apple Dumpling’s perfect behavior. At present I have fortified myself with three cups of coffee and the knowledge that the rest of us are far from perfect.
Unfortunately for my children I’m the one who wields the pen. If this column was called “I Brake for Kids” they would each issue separate complaints.
My daughter was disappointed in the food. She’s the type of 5-year-old who only eats white bread products, crunchy lettuce, fruit, ice cream — and yuck! Mom and Dad made her try weird cuisine.
My son, who will eat almost anything, enthusiastically consumed new delicacies like poutine — French fries with gravy — and tea trays loaded with unusual pickles. But he was horrified at the sight of the two beluga whales swimming around their tiny enclosure at the Vancouver Aquarium. His heartbreak made me feel guilty for buying tickets.
At least Stanley Park, Capilano Suspension Bridge Park and Granville Island were winners. We were also quite happy with the Residence Inn by Marriott on Hornby Street, which was affordable and included free breakfast.
The kids’ favorite part of vacation was the hotel’s indoor pool and swimming with Dad every night after dinner.
I am happy to report that Apple Dumpling did not splash my husband in the face over and over again with water. She didn’t laugh about it either.
Good times, family. Good times.
Jennifer Bardsley is an Edmonds mom of two. Find her on Twitter @jennbardsley and at www.heraldnet.com/ibrakeformoms and teachingmybabytoread.com.
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