It’s the new year, and so you’ve embarked on a weight loss and exercise program. Congratulations. If all goes as planned, you will lose fat, build muscle, and look and feel fantastic.
Of course, friends and family will be thrilled to witness your success and will offer their full, unwavering support — unless you go sanctimonious on them.
Sanctimonious: Making a show of being superior to other people. Preachy, self-righteous, smug, critical, annoying as all get out. I know because I was guilty of it in my early 20 when I embarked on a low-fat diet and rigorous exercise program. I was wildly passionate about my latest undertaking and, oh, did my listeners suffer.
I blathered about my workouts and eating program to anyone unfortunate enough to be within earshot. At parties, I was regularly accused of being the ultimate buzzkill. What I intended to be a friendly discussion about my weight loss would quickly become a stern lecture, then descend into a howling sermon. Lord, I could clear a room faster than a police drug bust.
I learned to change my abrasive ways, as invitations to social gatherings thinned out dramatically. Enthusiasm is wonderful and so is sharing your success, but pushing your lifestyle on others (or condemning them for not eating and exercising as you do) is unacceptable.
Ergo, I am devoting this column to helping you succeed in your health endeavors without driving those around you utterly batty.
Refrain from braying about your current eating program to anyone who crosses your path. It’s a total turn-off. My friends and co-workers didn’t give a flying hoot about the sugar-free, high-fiber kale smoothie I choked down for breakfast or the fat-free, flavor-free diet I was following. Unless someone expresses interest in hearing about it, I advise you keep your food intake to yourself.
On the same note, crowing about the two hours you spend in the gym each day and the one-armed push-ups you perform is hard on any ears not attached to your own head. Nobody likes a braggart. If someone compliments your appearance and asks how you got those shapely gams, by all means, share. Otherwise, refrain from taking the listener through a play-by-play of your quad and hamstring routine.
Skip the snide remarks and sneers if someone eats something you don’t approve of. There’s nothing like a holier-than-thou attitude to make family members yearn to move out. While I was on the aforementioned low-fat diet, I chastised my boyfriend anytime he ate a meal containing more than 3 grams of fat. How he plodded through our relationship without forcefully cramming a fistful of bacon down my craw remains a mystery.
If you are cooking your favorite weight-loss recipe of Boiled Down Tofu Chunks, don’t force the family to also make a meal of it. Allow loved ones to prepare something for themselves. If they’re too darn lazy to cook, well then, they’ll eat tofu nuggets and like ‘em.
There’s a big difference between encouragement and denigration. It’s natural to want your partner, best friend or parents to change their unhealthy lifestyle, but don’t use criticism and vilification in an attempt to motivate. It is wholly ineffective. Gently and lovingly share ideas for healthy living, and accept that you can’t force them to change their ways.
Don’t misinterpret my advice as admonishment for feeling enthusiastic about your progress. Sharing accomplishments is one of the joys of life, but know when, where and how to do it. And if you are surrounded by sourpusses who will have none of it, send me an email with every exciting detail of your diet and exercise program.
Bray all you want — I’ll applaud your efforts all the way from Sedona.
Catherine Bongiorno, info@lifttolose.com, is a personal trainer, nutritional therapist and owner of Lift To Lose Fitness & Nutrition. Visit www.lifttolose.com for more information.
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