So my wife tosses a file folder on my desk and says I have to revise our will. Specifically, she wants me to fill out a form with this heading:
“Letter of Intent for Distribution of Tangible Personal Property.”
“What do I have to do?” I asked innocently.
“You have to make a list of who gets what when you die,” she responded, just a bit more brightly than I thought she might have. “You know, ‘Samantha gets your wedding ring, Luke gets your rugby shirts,’ that sort of thing.”
And with that, she bounded out the door — again, with just a little more bounce in her step than maybe she should have.
My first reaction: Ooof.
I stared at the blank sheet and put it back in the folder. It has been on my desk since August.
The thing is, I just can’t do it.
So I finally asked a lawyer, “Does everybody who dies have to have a will?”
“Better than that,” he said, “everybody who turns 18 needs a will.”
A will, says Brian Hall, who is with the Dallas firm Barnett McNair Hall LLP, directs what happens to the “residue of your estate.” Yes, his words. The residue.
My legal counsel sobered me up with a couple of things, one of which is, “What makes me think anyone would want any of this … residue?”
“Eventually, the stuff you got for yourself will not be emotional for them,” Hall said. “Souvenirs, those are things that represent what happened to you, not them. All the things in your house, as perfect as they may be, your kids may see as junk.”
To help me out, my lawyer suggested I should widen the idea of who I might leave things to. Appropriate charities is a good start or, Hall said, “You may have a friend who was with you on the trip when you got that souvenir and it may mean something to them.”
He recommended having a conversation in private with each child — and maybe your wife, too — and ask them what they want.
Hall warned that my children may not want to talk about this, just as I don’t want to. But, if approached right, it can done.
Things to know about wills
An estate planning specialist gave us some insight:
Do you need a lawyer to prepare a will?
A lawyer-prepared will is specifically tailored to your particular situation, considers state law, addresses commonly anticipated issues, and takes the best advantage of cost-saving methods for reducing probate expenses. A competent lawyer work can assist you in making additional financial planning.
There are several products and services, online and otherwise, that represent to the public that legal documents, such as a will, may be self-prepared or otherwise generated, frequently on a home computer, without the help of any attorney.
In some cases, where the appropriate will is pretty basic, these products may generate a will that is valid and appropriate.
What should it cost to have a lawyer do your will?
A will may be a fairly straight-forward document or more complicated with trusts, properties, and the appointment of executors, trustees and guardians. Many estate planning attorneys bill hourly for their services, others may work on a flat-fee basis. Always ask first about fees.
How do I find a lawyer to do my will?
Talk to friends who have used a lawyer for preparation of a will and ask them about their experiences. If you have a trusted accountant, banker, insurance adviser, investment adviser or financial planner, ask them for recommendations.
Call the local bar association to see if it has a Lawyer Referral Service.
There are websites (such as Findlaw.com) that will allow you to search for attorneys in a specific geographical location and who are engaged in a specific practice.
Other websites (iLawyer.com) may assist in arranging referrals online.
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