A makeover for the soul

By Jennifer Langston

Herald Writer

Betty Lynn Balmer says looking nice is the last thing you worry about when you’re just trying to survive.

After suffering years of abuse and isolation, you get brainwashed into thinking your feelings don’t count, she added.

But with a new spunky new haircut, animal print dress and a day of luxurious pampering, the 50-year-old who was traumatized and sleeping on the street just a few months ago felt great.

Along with about 50 other women from the Everett Gospel Mission’s Women and Children’s Shelter and a CASA Ministries house, she was treated to makeovers at a makeshift spa Saturday at a Marysville church.

"It makes me want to cry, because I don’t think I’ve ever had something so nice happen to me," Balmer said. "It makes us realize that although we’re in situations that many of us are embarrassed to be in, we still have some pride."

The women, who have no permanent homes, were taken by donated limousines to the Marysville First Assembly Church for its Life Changes Ministries’ "Queen for a Day" event. There they got complete makeovers, including haircuts and makeup from volunteer stylists, plus donated clothing and shoes.

After a morning of pampering, they were treated to lunch, musical entertainment and a motivational speaker.

Brooke White, a 19-year-old who is working two telemarketing jobs and about to become a single mom, said she rarely has time to do anything nice for herself. Plus, she’s trying to save money so she can afford a place to live.

"It just makes you feel good that there are other people who care enough to do this for you," she said. "We were taken from looking pretty pitiful to looking amazing."

Marysville First Assembly Pastor Judy Hoff said she got the brainstorm in the car when she and her daughter were driving to get their hair cut at a Seattle salon.

The church offers support groups and biblical counseling for women in the shelters. But they’d never thought of putting on an event such as this.

"My daughter and I were saying wouldn’t it be neat if those women had the blessing of having what we get to have," Hoff said. "It just spurred right out of that."

Balmer almost didn’t go. She was wary of do-gooders who take on causes mostly to make themselves feel better.

But somehow the former housewife in the back of the pack on the sidewalk got whisked into a limousine. When she arrived at the church, the dozens of stylists, makeup artists and volunteers made her feel incredibly welcome.

Accepting help isn’t something that comes naturally to Balmer.

She raised three kinds in a nice house, then decided to leave her abusive husband of 29 years. After injuring herself on her first job at Value Village, life began a downward spiral.

She ultimately spent two weeks camping on the street this summer before a stranger convinced her to call the mission. She thought she’d sunk to a new low, but instead found a support network and female friendships that may have saved her life.

In between worrying about finances, where you’ll live and what’s going to happen to you next, there’s not much energy left to fuss with how you look, she said.

"This really helps our self esteem," she said Saturday. "We’re so busy trying to survive and take care of ourselves, to have someone say, ‘Here, let me do this for you,’ is just amazing."

Christi Connell, administrator for the Life Changes Ministries program at the church, knows firsthand how much of a difference reaching out can make. She was looking for places to curl up on the street at age 12. Sometimes the places with a roof over her head were worse. She raised a child with an abusive partner.

It took several people in her life, including a woman who helped her get counseling and a landlord who paid her rent, to care before she finally got off the street at age 25.

When you’re homeless, it’s incredibly difficult not to get depressed, she said. Having someone pay this kind of attention to you can mean the difference between feeling like a piece of garbage and feeling like a queen.

"This is saying, ‘You are not worth being spit on. You are special,’ " she said. "It can carry you the rest of your life. One person really can make a difference."

You can call Herald Writer Jennifer Langston at 425-339-3452 or send e-mail to langston@heraldnet.com.

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