OCEAN CITY, N.J. – Looking for your place in the sun?
Fine. Just don’t lay your blanket too close to mine. And don’t shake it out here, the sand’s getting in my eyes.
And whatever you do, don’t feed the gulls. Once you do, they’ll stick around, squawking and flapping and – when nature calls – playing an icky version of beach blanket bingo.
When it comes to beach etiquette, there is a way to act and a way not to. Even the great outdoors has rules, it turns out. Problem is, they’re mostly unwritten and often ignored.
“The beach is such an informal, relaxed kind of place,” said etiquette expert Honore McDonough Ervin. “People who might normally have good manners, all good reason just flies out of their head and they do things that are offensive to others.”
Some no-nos are explicitly listed on lifeguard stands or boardwalk signs: Alcoholic beverages, dogs, picnic lunches, ballplaying and Frisbee-throwing, for example, are banned on many beaches, although enforcement varies.
Others are obvious enough: not crowding other beachgoers, kicking up sand around people, playing music loudly or leaving trash or cigarette butts.
“The cigarette butt is particularly offensive, not just because it’s ugly, but because the filters – which are filled with contaminants – get into the food chain,” said Cindy Zipf, executive director of Clean Ocean Action, an environmental group. “They look like small crabs or fish to gulls, and they get eaten.”
The general rule: Leave nothing on the beach, except footprints.
Some taboos are less obvious. Digging deep holes in the sand and leaving them unfilled is discouraged, because they are a hazard to walkers.
Not keeping tabs on boisterous young children is rude, too, especially if they are kicking sand on or otherwise bothering other sunbathers, according to Ervin, co-author of the etiquette guide “Things You Need to Be Told.”
“You should keep kids on a fairly tight leash, not just because they’re bothering others but because of their own safety,” Ervin said.
Feeding sea gulls is another faux pas, one almost universally reviled by beach regulars.
“I hate it when people feed birds right next to you,” said Dee Murphy, of Philadelphia, sitting under an umbrella on the beach in Atlantic City. “They bring food with them, intent on feeding the birds. Then they stop, and the birds just go to the next family, like they’re saying, ‘What’ve YOU got?’ “
Rude neighbors become even more problematic on crowded beaches, where someone’s sunburned nose is more likely to be out of joint.
“We’ve had police have to break up groups (arguing) over kids throwing a ball, throwing sand, stepping on a towel on the way to the water,” said Tony Cavalier, chief of the beach patrol in North Wildwood. “There’s all kinds of things that happen.”
All kinds, indeed.
One veteran Atlantic City lifeguard caught a couple having sex under a blanket in broad daylight.
“I didn’t know what to do,” said the guard, Rod Aluise. “Blow the whistle? Tap the guy on the shoulder? So I tap him and his head pokes out like ‘What’s the problem?’
“We sent them off the beach,” Aluise said.
That’s bad manners. But if life’s a beach, rude behavior is to be accepted.
“If they’ve been taught to be mindful of others growing up, they tend to be mindful when they’re out on the beach or in the open generally,” said Hilka Klinkenberg, founder of Etiquette International. “If they haven’t, they don’t suddenly become mindful people on the beach.”
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