BY JEANETTE GARDNER
Retirement is the unresolved question in our home.
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Jeanette Gardner |
My husband prefers to mull it over silently, dragging his feet, fighting against it.
As with many men of his generation, his job defines who he is. He loves being in the middle of the fray, making decisions, developing the project from a drawing on a sheet of a paper and an empty lot, to a completed commercial structure with its Certificate of Occupancy.
He is nearing 66. He decided years ago he would stay in the business until he was 70 or on life support, whichever came first. He works in commercial construction management, as a project superintendent. And he loves every minute. He hits the freeway every morning at 4:45. Traffic be damned, here I come!
I, on the other hand, have been yearning for the day when he would turn in his keys and say, "Let’s move home, Gutridge."
We ran away from home 21 years ago, planning to return in two years. During those years, our home in Oregon has been occupied by one or the other of our five kids and families.
Our youngest son was 18 when we left him in charge. We went home every weekend for the first few months to scoop out the debris and make sure the house was still standing. But that soon became unnecessary; he and his new wife took over, freeing me for more interesting weekend activities. Walking the basset hound, searching for rocks and treasures in the desert of Eastern Oregon was much more exciting.
Now, we have 10 grandchildren and wonderful families I want to spend time with. Four of our children have remained in the area, choosing to raise their families in Newberg and Portland, Ore. Our middle son lives in our house with his family, waiting for us to say the word, when they will start building on their property.
After living in several small towns, moving often, we finally settled in Marysville. We bought a house, remodeled it, planning to sell when the big day arrives; signing up for that monthly Social Security check, and the move back to our mountain home.
The question that now consumes my thoughts, when will that time arrive?
The decision may be taken out of my husband’s hands, because of the economy, over which he has no control.
As technology companies soared over the past few years, so did the building projects he is involved with. As they hit bottom, and bankruptcies became an almost weekly news item, his company has lost tenants and future long-term lessees, bringing them to an almost grinding halt.
Layoffs are rampant as projects dry up, companies lose their funding, and everywhere there is the question, what lies ahead?
It isn’t a very good time to put our house on the market, with Boeing layoffs, and a faltering economy, but on the other hand, the cut in interest rates is good for prospective buyers.
One thing I know, my husband will have his days filled with new projects that will keep him busy. I know he won’t take over my household chores, as a good friend recently confided about her newly retired husband.
"He’s driving me nuts. He won’t let me do anything around the house. He says I don’t do it right. After 40 years, I find out I’m not doing it right!"
There is a long list of Daddy and Grampa "do’s" waiting for him. His problem will be finding an excuse not to do those fix-its.
So we wait, knowing he may not have the option of waiting until he’s 70 to take the next big step.
I’ll continue the phone calls,
e-mails and short plane trips until I can be in the midst of my family. Then, I’ll probably wish I were back in the peace and quiet, with only occasional weekend visits.
Jeanette Gardner lives in Marysville. She wants to move back to her home in Newberg, Ore., although, as she says at the end,be careful what you wish for.
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