I didn’t attend the sentencing of Joseph Hecht, nor will I be attending the sentencing of Grant Fosheim, the young man who killed my wife, Jenny McCollum, along with two other young men, Michael Seavy and Cory Baudry, riding with him on the evening of Feb. 23. That dark evening grew into a stormy year for all of us involved with the tragedy. Each of us has been soul-searching to a depth we couldn’t imagine a year ago at this holiday time.
The reason I’m not attending the sentencing of these young men is because my personal presence as a widower is unnecessary to the judicial process.
Justice, for me, is impersonal, as it should be. I have faith in a personally loving universe. I also have faith that our systems of law are ultimately fair, impartial and thorough. Our judges have my intrinsic support for their difficult task of passing sentences on behalf of all of us citizens. That’s an awesome responsibility I can’t even begin to imagine, making my personal grief and responsibilities for my family seem selfish in comparison. Our judges have heard every heartfelt plea, angry demand, frightened whisper, arrogant excuse and humble confession known to humankind. There is nothing I can say as a husband that would accomplish anything other than assuaging my personal need for self-expression. If ever I feel the need to influence our legal system, I will do so through my democratic right as a citizen — my right to vote.
Yet, this mindless tragedy of vehicular homicide is also deeply personal. We need to express ourselves in a personal way. One of my ways is through this letter.
I have been thinking about what Joseph Hecht and Grant Fosheim owe me and my family. Money? I guess. Jenny was the major wage earner for my family at the time of her death. She was a successful businesswoman devoted to her chosen career, but how do I put a monetary value on someone I knew and loved for over 30 years?
Personal services? Will Mr. Hecht or Mr. Fosheim play with my grandson and me? Will they advise my youngest son on how to choose a meaningful gift for his girlfriend’s birthday? Will Mr. Hecht or Mr. Fosheim say "Good morning" to me and ask me if I would like some milk in my coffee? Will they give me a hug when I’m feeling down? Will they relax with me and appreciate one of our beautiful Puget Sound sunsets? Will they turn to me with the eyes of love and, without a single word, acknowledge all the experiences we’ve shared over years of working and living together?
I care about Mr. Hecht and Mr. Fosheim. I feel what they personally owe me, my family, and the families and friends of everyone connected to this tragedy is simply this: a reason to forgive them.
Traveling down the road of impersonal to personal we must first be just, then fair, then kind, then merciful, then loving. That is the way of individual redemption.
The ball is in their court.
I want to close by saying that our excellent Child and Victim Services programs at the Snohomish County Prosecutor’s Office, coordinated by Sandy Fitzpatrick and Jill Schick, provide essential information, nurturing and guidance to victims and families of victims. I cannot say enough good things about these compassionate and professional women. They deserve our community’s admiration, respect and deepest gratitude for their dedication to victims of crime. Their offices provide a liaison between families and the otherwise obscure workings of our legal system. The victim advocacy program does all it can to ensure that families of victims have input into the judicial process, including the privilege of addressing the court at the time of sentencing.
JERRY McCOLLUM
Everett
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