Think about the one or two most important people or things in your life. Now, imagine this: Tell someone at work how you spent last weekend.
Oh — and you can’t mention those people or things most important to you.
What would that be like?
“You’re not able to be real about who’s
in your life. You’re constantly putting energy into what you can say,” said Brenda Newell, a social worker with the Snohomish Health District.
Newell, the health district’s program manager for prevention of HIV, sexually transmitted diseases and hepatitis C, led the audience in picturing that scenario at a diversity program at the Everett Performing Arts Center.
Tuesday’s workshop, “Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity: Relearning the Alphabet to Include GLBTQ,” was part of a “Hands on Diversity” series sponsored by the city of Everett.
The free public programs began in 2010 with a focus on racial and ethic diversity, said Kate Reardon, city spokeswoman. “The overarching goal is to work toward creating a more inclusive community,” Reardon said.
That mental exercise — the thought of keeping the most basic aspects of your life secret — was one of many enlightening moments shared by Tuesday’s panel.
David Bayless, a health educator with the Snohomish Health District, works with Newell to run a young people’s support group called GLOBE — an acronym for GLBTQ Loving Ourselves, Becoming Empowered. Yes, there’s alphabet soup to decipher. Gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and questioning, that’s GLBTQ.
Sweep away all those letters and labels. We’re talking about real people who have often endured, at young ages, fear of rejection by their families, verbal harassment, assault, isolation, homelessness and higher than average risk of suicide.
Bayless and Newell shared sobering statistics from a 2009 National School Climate Survey conducted by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network. The survey of 7,000 gay and lesbian students ages 13 to 21 found that 80 percent had been verbally harassed, 60 percent felt unsafe and 20 percent had been assaulted — all at school.
Statistics were brought to life at the workshop by the personal stories of two young people. Jonathan Bruns, 23, grew up in Lake Stevens. He turned to GLOBE for support. He remembers always being “the weird kid.” In seventh grade, another boy called him a derogatory term for gay.
When he came out to his parents as a teenager, Bruns said his mother’s answer was “Honey, it’s just a phase.” A friend, a transgender boy, committed suicide. Bruns, who now lives in Seattle, has a career and lends his time to a scholarship program for gay teens.
Kia Lynn Smith also shared her ordeal. The 17-year-old said she became homeless after coming out as a lesbian in her first year of high school. Now cared for by the family of her half-sister, she’s enrolled in the online Insight School of Washington and is part of the support group.
Growing up with the knowledge of being gay or lesbian is daunting; growing old brings its own issues. Those were addressed by Susie Starrfield, a supervisor with the Snohomish County Human Services Department’s Long Term Care and Aging division, and Georgia Rigler, a social worker at the Mill Creek Senior Center.
Starrfield and Rigler said retirement, home care, or a move to a nursing home cause new worries. Without the safety net of marriage, many gay seniors are without Social Security survivor benefits. And after the privacy of their homes, some seniors in care facilities go back in the closet out of fear of discrimination. Others feel unwelcome in senior centers and live in isolation, Rigler said.
The program brought people together from city and county government, schools, social services and nonprofit organizations.
“You help create a safe environment for GLBTQ folks,” Bayless told the audience.
A safe environment for people just being themselves — that should be a given.
Julie Muhlstein: 425-339-3460, muhlstein@heraldnet.com.
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