‘Elderly’ is all a matter of viewpoint

  • Julie Muhlstein / Herald Columnist
  • Saturday, July 15, 2000 9:00pm
  • Local News

Say I’m talking with a friend. I’m describing my chat with Barbara Borylla.

"She’s a nice older lady from Edmonds," I might say.

I wouldn’t say she’s elderly. I wouldn’t say she’s old. "Older" is the polite conversational word for someone, say, Borylla’s age, 71.

When she called recently, Borylla was unhappy with the use of "elderly" in a Herald article about a traffic accident that killed a Lynnwood couple. The victims’ ages were 78 and 72.

"I’m in my early 70s, and I certainly don’t feel elderly," Borylla said. The word "implies frail health," she said, adding, "if they were 89 and 92, that would seem elderly."

Her question: What’s The Herald policy covering usage of the "e" word?

Policy? Hmm. I told Borylla I’d have to check on that.

Instead of going straight to the top, I whipped around in my chair. "Hey, Warren," I said to the reporter and transportation columnist across the aisle. "Didn’t someone get mad at you for calling them elderly?"

Yes, admitted Warren Cornwall, who is all of 30. While still 29, he wrote about an "elderly" person of 63. A stirred-up reader pointed out the error of his ways.

It truly was an error, according to The Associated Press Stylebook and Libel Manual, a kind of journalists’ bible containing the closest thing I found to a policy.

"Use carefully," the stylebook said about elderly. "Avoid the terms elderly or senior citizen unless a person’s age has something to do with the story. Never use for someone under age 65."

My Webster’s New World Dictionary isn’t so touchy, defining elderly as: "somewhat old; past middle age; approaching old age; in old age; aged."

If this was only about rules, Borylla and I would have little to say. It’s about feelings. We don’t like how the word makes us feel.

Dr. Soo Borson, head of the University of Washington Geriatric and Family Services Clinic in Seattle, understood why Borylla called.

"She’s active and probably feels about 20. Unless they’re depressed, most people do. That’s why a 71-year-old woman wouldn’t want to be called elderly," said Borson, a psychiatrist and UW professor. She has informally asked patients (dare I say "elderly" patients?) how old they feel.

"It’s an age when they thought they assumed their full adult personality, their early 20s, or for some, their 40s," Borson said. "How old people are has not a whole heck of a lot to do with very much anymore."

Geriatrics is the branch of medicine dealing with diseases and problems of old age, but, Borson said: "There is no such age as ‘geriatric.’ What we do to get around the issue is to talk about older adults. Older than what? Well, it doesn’t matter."

There’s such stigma associated with age that denial is common, the doctor said. "I’ll say to patients who are 90, ‘You’re old,’ and they say, ‘I am?’"

Not only are we uncomfortable with "elderly," we’re not too hot about "retired," or even "mature," for that matter.

The AARP, the nation’s largest organization for people 50 and older, is no longer officially the American Association of Retired Persons. Since last year, the group has simply been named AARP. The letters don’t stand for anything, not anymore.

"Thirty-three percent of our members are not retired," said Deborah Moore, spokeswoman for AARP’s Washington office in Seattle, explaining the change. "AARP is our brand now; we consider it a marketable brand."

She likened it to IBM, saying she doubts many people remember that it means International Business Machines.

The AARP has also tinkered with its publication, Modern Maturity, to boost its baby-boomer appeal. That’s some trick, coming up with stories to entice the first rock ‘n’ roll generation while satisfying their 80-year-old parents, the ones who spent years telling young boomers to "turn that music down."

"Modern Maturity, I would look for a name change within the year," Moore said.

I asked Borylla – an AARP member, by the way – if she’ll ever be elderly.

"Oh, I hope not," she said. "I suppose if I’m in a nursing home, and can’t eat, then I’ll be elderly. But I’ll be so out of it, I won’t know I’m elderly."

Two years ago, expecting my third child, I got a glimpse of my medical records when my Everett doctor sent me to Swedish Medical Center in Seattle. Under the chart’s "problems and risk factors" heading, she had penned in black ink, "refer to Swedish for advanced maternal age."

I was 44, a kid really, but already suffering from "advanced maternal age." They’re words, not life. I survived, see? This elderly mom is fine and trusting in the expertise of Dr. Borson.

"So 65 isn’t old?" I asked the head of the geriatric clinic.

"Not anymore," she said. "And if we have knee problems, we can get new knees."

Contact Julie Muhlstein via e-mail at

muhlsteinjulie@heraldnet.com, write to her at The Herald, P.O. Box 930, Everett, WA 98206, or call 425-339-3460.

Talk to us

> Give us your news tips.

> Send us a letter to the editor.

> More Herald contact information.

More in Local News

Customers enter and exit the Costco on Dec. 2, 2022, in Lake Stevens. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Costco stores could be impacted by looming truck driver strike threat

Truck drivers who deliver groceries and produce to Costco warehouses… Continue reading

Two Washington State ferries pass along the route between Mukilteo and Clinton as scuba divers swim near the shore Sunday, Oct. 22, 2023, in Mukilteo, Washington. (Ryan Berry / The Herald)
Ferry system increases ridership by a half million in 2024

Edmonds-Kingston route remains second-busiest route in the system.

Jasmine Donahue talks about being a place for people leave messages when looking for family members, friends or loved ones on the street on Thursday, Jan. 9, 2025 in Everett, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Everett extends deadline for homeless service facing closure

Hope ‘N Wellness must now comply with city zoning laws by April 30. The organization is “grateful,” its owner said, but still hopes for a permanent solution.

New Greater Everett Chamber of Commerce CEO CEO Wendy Poischbeg speaks at a kick off event on Wednesday, Jan. 15, 2025 in Everett, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
‘Everett Rising’: Wednesday’s chamber luncheon to showcase a new era of growth.

The Greater Everett Chamber of Commerce is beginning its efforts… Continue reading

The Edmonds School District building on Friday, Feb. 14, 2025 in Lynnwood, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Edmonds School District faces estimated $8.5 million deficit

The shortfall is lower than previous years, but the effects are “cumulative,” Superintendent Rebecca Miner said.

Robin Cain with 50 of her marathon medals hanging on a display board she made with her father on Thursday, Jan. 2, 2025 in Lake Stevens, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Running a marathon is hard. She ran one in every state.

Robin Cain, of Lake Stevens, is one of only a few thousand people to ever achieve the feat.

People line up to grab food at the Everett Recovery Cafe on Wednesday, Dec. 4, 2024 in Everett, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Coffee, meals and compassion are free at the Everett Recovery Cafe

The free, membership-based day center offers free coffee and meals and more importantly, camaraderie and recovery support.

Hundreds rally against Trump on Presidents Day in Everett

People lined Broadway with signs and flags, similar to other protests across the country.

The Everett Wastewater Treatment Plant along the Snohomish River on Thursday, June 16, 2022 in Everett, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Everett water, sewer rates could jump 43% by 2028

The rate hikes would pay for improvements to the city’s sewer infrastructure.

The bond funded new track and field at Northshore Middle School on Thursday, Oct. 24, 2024 in Bothell, Washington. (Courtesy of Northshore School District)
Northshore School District bond improvements underway

The $425 million bond is funding new track and field complexes, playgrounds and phase one of two school replacements.

Alina Langbehn, 6, center, and Vera A., 6, right, sit on a swing together at Drew Nielsen Neighborhood Park after school on Tuesday, Jan. 28, 2025 in Everett, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
Everett council votes to renovate Drew Nielsen Park

Construction on the $345,000 upgrade could start as early as this fall.

Northshore School District bus driver Stewart O’Leary pictured next to his buses shattered drivers side windshield on Friday, Feb. 14, 2025 in Bothell, Washington. (Olivia Vanni / The Herald)
‘Put me in, coach’: Bus driver back at work after struck by metal bar

Stewart O’Leary, a Northshore employee, has received national attention for his composure during a frightening bus trip.

Support local journalism

If you value local news, make a gift now to support the trusted journalism you get in The Daily Herald. Donations processed in this system are not tax deductible.