By Pamela Brice
For the Herald
Caring for an elderly family member is becoming a common experience for many Americans.
Nearly one in four American households is caring for an older family member, insurance companies report.
While today about 14 percent of Americans are 65 and older, in 30 years that number will rise to 25 percent — and this country is not prepared, said Liz Taylor, a consumer advocate on aging.
And Taylor knows.
When Elizabeth Dole served as a commissioner on the Federal Trade Commission in 1976, she appointed Taylor to investigate nursing homes nationwide. The investigation changed her life.
"What I found was the main problem with nursing homes is consumer ignorance. It means the providers are in charge, and it’s a seller’s market. When consumers are ignorant, people don’t get the quality care they need."
She became the first geriatrics care manager in the Northwest, she said, helping families find the right kind of care for elders. She also started providing workshops through her company, Aging Deliberately, to educate people about the choices that are out there, and how to find quality elder care.
A public workshop is scheduled at the University of Washington-Bothell next month.
Taylor says research is the key.
"Consumer ignorance still dominates. We keep all the blinders on and refuse to face what aging means in our life, and families ignore the situation until a crisis — and crisis decision-making is not the way to buy long-term care," Taylor said.
In her workshop, she talks about how to figure out which long-term care services are appropriate, how to find care anywhere in the United States, including for parents who live far away, and how to deal with family relationships.
"The unintended consequence of older people not planning is what it does to the relationships between brothers and sisters" who have to make the decisions for their parents, she said.
Eliot Brenowitz has an 87-year-old father who feels strongly about maintaining as much independence as possible, "but my brother and I see he needs more help than he was acknowledging," he said.
Brenowitz is a psychology professor at UW-Bothell and attended an earlier workshop offered to college staff.
"An important thing that Liz taught us is there is always a long history of family dynamics and personal reactions that can get in the way for everyone deciding what’s best."
Brenowitz found that getting a geriatrics case-manager to visit his father regularly at home to assess his father’s needs worked best because "it was a neutral party who can objectively evaluate the situation," he said.
Taylor also gives some practical advise to help folks prepare for their futures: Before figuring out where to retire, make sure there are services nearby.
"All of us need to be dealing with aging intelligently and ahead of time, so we can make good choices."
Pamela Brice is a staff writer for the Enterprise weekly newspapers. You can call her at 425-673-6522 or send e-mail to brice@heraldnet.com.
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