OLYMPIA – This is the Day of Exodus.
The Legislature will be done and the 147 lawmakers will head home.
This is also the day we hand out the 2007 Capitol Awards honoring performances, memorable and notorious, that will forever be etched in our brains and likely our state laws.
Many deserve a Cappy – The Herald’s version of the Oscar – yet only a few will receive one.
Criticisms of choices are expected. No selection process is without fault as those who lost to Sanjaya can tell you.
Here are this year’s recipients.
Best Performance in a Minority Role: Rep. Barbara Bailey, R-Oak Harbor. Bailey made Democrats regret tacking emergency clauses on hundreds of bills to pre-empt any chance of the public overturning them. She worked to remove every one of the clauses. Democrats first laughed then furiously erased many of them to topple her platform.
Best Performance in a Majority Role: The (Unofficial) Gay Caucus. It took 29 years to ban discrimination based on sexual orientation. It took less than 100 days for five Democrats led by Seattle Sen. Ed Murray to win passage of a domestic partners bill extending some rights to same-sex couples previously given only to married heterosexuals.
Best Bill Not Introduced: Snohomish High School students. They came to Olympia wanting Jones Soda named the Official State Soda. They wore bottle cap buttons and lobbied with slick produced literature. The idea fizzed out. Hey, lawmakers did name the Pacific Chorus Frog as the state amphibian, the Walla Walla sweet onion as the state vegetable and the Lady Washington as the state ship.
Best Comedy: Sex Education. Abstinence, reproduction, bestiality and a bingo game on the naming and workings of male and female genitals. All discussed and debated in prime time on the hallowed floor of the state Senate by grandmothers and grandfathers.
Big Foot Award: House Speaker Frank Chopp, D-Seattle: Whenever Chopp put his Size 62Ds on a bill, it got squashed. He left footprints on the Sonics, NASCAR, home warranties plus a few egos.
Best Special Effects: Rep. John Lovick, D-Mill Creek. Repeat winner Lovick brought in professional auto dismantlers to rip apart a car. They did so in less than in 10 minutes. Lovick’s point – this could happen to your wheels if they get ripped off. His solution, awaiting the governor’s signature, is locking up auto thieves longer.
Outstanding Male Performances: Rep. Mike Sells, D-Everett, and Rep. Hans Dunshee, D-Snohomish. The blend of Sells’ quiet assertiveness and Dunshee’s bombastic hyperbole proved the right mix as they negotiated their way to securing the UW as operator of a branch campus.
Outstanding Female Performance: Sen. Jean Berkey, D-Everett. Berkey coached one of two teams in the Snohomish County college scrum. She also got a bill passed letting folks freeze their credit the minute they fear someone stole their identity and might use it against them.
Outstanding Cameo: Racing legend Richard Petty: The icon of the oval made a pit stop at the Capitol providing some high-octane fuel to NASCAR fans driving hard for a racetrack in Kitsap County. He left town and they crashed.
Outstanding Newcomer: Sen. Steve Hobbs, D-Lake Stevens. The plaque on his desk reads The Hobbinator. Friends teasingly call him Mr. Insignificant. There was nothing insignificant when Hobbs soldiered hard to win a ban on discrimination against veterans.
Outstanding Musical Performance: Rep. Kathy Haigh, D-Shelton. She carried her trombone onto the House floor and bravely performed the national anthem. Runner-up: Rep. Maureen Walsh, R-Walla Walla, who sang “The Star Spangled Banner” to kickoff another day’s session.
“Whoo, Whoo” Award: Rep. Dan Roach, R-Bonney Lake. Roach’s Moment of Zen on the House floor was the most imitated of the session. While railing against trial lawyers, he took a crack at the attorney-husband of the House Majority Leader. “Look out. The Keith Kessler train is coming through … Whooo, whooo,” he shouted, pumping his arm up and down like a conductor. Roach should be released from intensive GOP care today.
Outstanding Performance in a Science Fiction: Sen. Mike Carrell, R-Lakewood. Heads turned when he cited the value of Nazi technology in keeping Washington residents warm in winter. “Splitting the atom” – as in nuclear power – is what he meant.
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