How much to give? It’s never enough

Give. Please give. Every day, the pleas come.

Help, won’t you? Help the hungry, the homeless and those hurt by natural disasters. Help children forgotten during the holidays.

If you’re looking for advice or consumer information on charities, don’t look here. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, even numb, in the face of so much need, you have company.

At the supermarket the other day, a couple in front of me didn’t have enough money for everything in their cart. They asked the checker to take out the hamburger and a few other items to make up a $7 shortfall. I pretended not to listen.

At that moment, only one thing seemed right. I slipped $10 to the checker and asked her, quietly, to put the hamburger back in the couple’s bag. Maybe they’d just gambled away their cash at some casino. I don’t think so. I think they were two of the not-so-hidden poor in my community.

“God bless you,” the woman said to me as they left the store.

A few days earlier, I received a letter from Mercy Corps. Its plea was for aid to victims of the Pakistani earthquake, a tragedy so huge I have nearly tuned it out. I’m on the Mercy Corps mailing list because in January I sent a check to the emergency relief agency, one of two I wrote after the Indian Ocean tsunami.

Right after the tsunami, I gave nothing, and told myself I couldn’t decide which organization was most deserving. What a rotten excuse. Finally, I picked Mercy Corps and Catholic Relief Services, and split my gift.

Then came Hurricane Katrina. I wrote another check – for less than I could afford.

A week after the magnitude-7.6 quake devastated parts of Pakistan, India and Afghanistan, I slept too late for Mass at my church, Immaculate Conception in Everett. Instead, I went to Our Lady of Perpetual Help, the other Catholic church in north Everett.

There, the Rev. Dennis Robb spoke of a new capital campaign. The cause? Seismic improvements for Our Lady of Perpetual Help Church.

“Eighty years ago, parishioners sacrificed greatly to build this church,” Robb said on Oct. 16. I have no doubt of that, or of the worthiness of efforts to strengthen the wonderful old building on Cedar Street.

The letter from Mercy Corps said at least 2.5 million people are homeless since the Pakistani quake. In Everett, an old church needs help in case of an earthquake. To which cause should I give? For me, the right answer is both.

My daughter, who is deep in law school debt, told me she couldn’t give much to Katrina victims. Before the hurricane, she made a donation for famine relief in the West African country of Niger. Years of drought have brought millions there to the brink of starvation.

A century ago, word of suffering half a world away would have come slowly, if at all. Now we see it immediately, often in greater detail than the needs right next door.

Every fall at The Herald, it’s time to sign up for employee benefits. We have choices regarding health coverage, life insurance and other benefits. Our company is also involved in a campaign for United Way of Snohomish County.

Last year, I decided my family’s health coverage had gone up so much I could no longer afford my United Way contribution, which is taken regularly out of my paycheck.

I am a worrier, and also a procrastinator. I put off canceling my United Way contribution for so long that it simply continued, coming out of my check all this year.

Did I miss that money? Not at all.

I’m not writing this to say, “Hey, look at me, I give what I can.”

I don’t give what I can, not really. I drive a nicer car than I need. I’m selfish in many other ways. I give something.

In his recent homily at Our Lady of Perpetual Help, Robb said that where people put their money shows what they care about. It’s true.

Education for my kids, that’s where my real money goes. Most days, that feels right.

On a day when the news is filled with suffering and I bump into someone who can’t buy hamburger, I just feel overwhelmed.

Columnist Julie Muhlstein: 425-339-3460 or muhlsteinjulie@heraldnet.com.