Get off our backs and out of our lungs.
The Tacoma-Pierce County Board of Health approved a resolution last week that will make it the first place in the state to ban smoking in most indoor public places, including restaurants, bars, bowling alleys and minicasinos.
I hope Snohomish County wasn’t listening. Go ahead and ban smoking in family places such as restaurants, schools and malls, but leave us alone in our taverns. Adults have darn few refuges where we can relax in peace, so keep safe havens safe.
Pardon me if I speak for tavern lovers. I play darts, and that happens in taverns. I can go inside and play darts, or I don’t have to go in. Take it or leave it. If you don’t like smoke, avoid taverns. It’s so simple there is no reason for regulatory interference.
I look at taverns like Catholic schools. At a parochial campus, everyone wears an identical uniform that levels the playing field. No one is a Richie Rich, a slob or a fashion maven.
Taverngoers blend like marble cake in a swirl of beer, off-color jokes, pool, pull tabs and blue smoke. When you enter dark dens, you are no longer an engineer, accountant, florist, plumber, jail guard, teacher or journalist. You become part of a blob of like-minded humanity who gets away from kids, traffic, mothers, parole officers, bosses, attorneys and ministers by saddling up to the bar.
Leave us alone so we can swear, get into arguments, dance, sing karaoke, bet on the Seahawks, play countertop games and fill ashtrays with butts. I don’t even smoke, but I respect someone’s right to puff away in a pub.
The smell of smoke was evident Thursday at Cactus Moon Saloon in south Everett. We drop by that saloon for weekend dart tournaments. Suzan Hulen, 60, who lives in Everett, was at the bar sipping a black Russian.
She said if they outlaw smoking in taverns, well, that’s "horse garbage."
"The government has no business in this," Hulen said. "Is it bad for us? Are we over 21? Leave us alone."
Down the bar a few stools, Allen Lindquist, 70, who lives in Lynnwood, said the Pierce County ban stinks.
"I smoked all my life," Lindquist said. "I started when I was 8 years old."
He said the state would lose tax revenue if everyone stopped smoking. "If they don’t like it, they don’t have to come in here," he said. "It’s that simple."
Bartender Kristen Latham, 33, said it would be bad for bar business if smoking was banned.
"Look around," Latham said. "Around three-quarters of the bar smokes."
She said she chooses to be a bartender. One might think she would be sensitive to secondhand smoke. Latham quit smoking in June.
Battling the blue haze is the price we pay if we want to throw those little sticks at bull’s-eyes. I play on a tavern league every Wednesday night. Talk about inhaling secondhand smoke. My teammate this season, Scotty, is a terrific person. He named our team (you can only use 8 letters) SHOKNAWE. Get it, shock and awe?
Anyway, I was eager to be on a team with Scotty, but I forgot he chewed tobacco. Now that’s a rotten habit. Let’s not talk about the spit cup he needs to prop under his lip. Wednesday night, the young woman we played against was a chain smoker. With six league matches of smokers lined up side by side in front of six dartboards, you get blasted with foul air from all sides.
The smoking habit grabs a person like mayonnaise.
I can’t, absolutely can’t, give up mayonnaise. I bet it’s sort of the same craving as wanting to pour smoke down your throat. My day isn’t complete without mayonnaise smeared on a cracker. As a fat person, I am at risk for cancer and heart disease.
I may not get lung cancer like a smoker, but I am a walking stroke hazard because I eat the wrong foods. Tomorrow night, while I play darts at Waldo’s North in Lynnwood, I might order deep fried chicken strips.
I shouldn’t eat greasy foods.
My partner shouldn’t chew tobacco.
Our opponents shouldn’t smoke.
My tavern cohorts may choose bad habits, but I cherish the right to make crummy personal decisions. I don’t need big brother poking his nose into my appetite or my hangouts.
Columnist Kristi O’Harran: 425-339-3451 or
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